Transcript 0:00 [upbeat music] We're gonna hope to get baby out. Okay, guys. 0:12 It's time to get a little energy for the night, and I gotta make sure that I'm drinking some water, so we're just gonna try and bang them both out at the same time. Today I'm going to be reviewing Hydro Rush. 0:25 Time to get up, start moving. Gotta reach out and grab my Crypto Rush from Hydro Rush. Let's go. We gotta get this generator started, and we're gonna need the energy to do that and to go exploring. Vibez up, fam. 0:40 Give it this a taste test. Um, I always... You gotta rush it. You know, you're not a rusher. Cheers, fam. Um, it's got creatine. Okay. You guys have magnesium in here, 66 milligrams. 0:56 Sodium, sea salt, 1,000. All right, that's pretty high. You got some potassium, keeps you nice and invigorated, keeps your bones and your joints going good, muscles from cramping up. And then creatine. 1:10 Um, a lot of people have been telling me about creatine, you know, um, very good things from, uh, from the weight training community. Yeah, we'll see how this tastes. Okay. Not bad. All right, this is Hydro Rush. 1:23 So tell me, Nisha, what is the r- one thing that people get wrong when they talk about self-love? That's a great question. 1:35 [laughs] So I think the one thing people get wrong is they think, I think people think they know what it is. Mm-hmm. 1:42 And they think it's, like, mani-pedis and bubble baths and kind of the frilly stuff, and that's important, right? That's- Of course... self-care is a part of that. Yeah. But self-cov- self-love really matters 1:56 on the days when you wanna break up with yourself because to me, the relationship that you have with yourself is like, it's a marriage. Mm, I love that. You can't, you can't, you can divorce another person- Mm-hmm... 2:06 as painful as that might be, but you can't divorce yourself. So- You're stuck with yourself... it's self-love... Yeah. [laughs] Self-love is how do I treat myself when I've made a mistake? Mm. 2:15 How do I handle myself when I have a bad day and I don't wanna get out of bed? How do I talk to myself when I feel like I've failed or I don't have the motivation? Mm. Um, how do I show up for myself? 2:26 Like, I tell myself I'm gonna go to the gym and I don't do it, and then I feel like crap. Like, can I trust myself? Can I rely on myself, and what do I believe about who I am? Mm. So what do you say? 2:38 How do you talk about yourself to other people? Like, absentmindedly we say things like, "Oh my God, I'm such an idiot." I can see that. Right? We're, we're our worst own critic, right? We're our worst own critic. Yeah. 2:50 So I think it's really, what people get wrong is they think it's the frilly stuff. Mm-hmm. It's how you show up for yourself on a hard day. Like, that's how you build it. Mm, I love that. Yeah. 3:01 And, um, I, I wanna go back to what you were saying earlier of, you know, how self-love is so, so important for you because yeah, you're stuck with yourself. You can't- You are... you can't divorce yourself. 3:13 You're, you're in your own head every single day. Yep. And I believe it's a true reflection of how you show up for people is how you treat yourself. Absolutely. Right? So- Yeah. You can't give what you don't have. Right. 3:24 [laughs] And that's the other, other thing that most people get wrong- Mm-hmm... is we expect someone to treat us with respect- Right... and someone to support us and someone- Right... to be there for us- Mm-hmm... 3:35 as we should. Right. But if you're not giving yourself respect, if you can't forgive yourself, if you can't trust yourself to follow through on what you say you're going to do- Mm-hmm... 3:48 then how can you expect another person to do it? Like, that's a lot to put on someone else 'cause you're not doing it, right? You're putting the accountability on someone else, not on yourself. Right. 3:58 But it starts with self. Totally. Everything starts with you. [laughs] You can't... When you look in the mirror- Yeah... you're, you're staring back at your own face. Mm, mm. Right? 4:08 So you've branded yourself as a s- self-love mindset coach. Yeah. That's what I see online anyway. Yeah. 4:13 Would you mind breaking that down for us and sharing a little bit about how you became or how you're becoming this- Yeah... person for people and serving people in this way? Yeah, I mean, my journey really, 4:25 life taught me to prioritize the relationship with myself, and that's what I've done. It's how I'm wired and how I'm built, and so I've spent a lot of time with myself. 4:38 And through the difficult moments and the hard moments and comparing myself to other women that maybe had things that, you know, the family that I'd wanted or things that I wanted, comparing myself, wondering why my life didn't happen the way society said it should happen, right? 4:56 Like, I'm 52. I'm not married. I don't have kids, and that was really hard for me because I grew up in a... We grow up as women in a world that tells us there's a certain life we're supposed to have. Mm. 5:09 Um, and if you don't have that life or it doesn't happen in that timeline, what happened for me is I internalized it as, oh my God, there's something wrong with me. Mm. Like, I'm not lovable. I'm broken. 5:22 I did life wrong. And as I sat with myself through this in and out of relationships and experiences and dealing with life, like, I was stuck with myself, right? Like, I was stuck with that voice- Mm-hmm... 5:34 'cause there weren't a lot of people around me that I could distract myself with. Mm-hmm. And so that's what my soul chose to do. It's my soul's pace. And I just learned to, like, deal with my life. 5:46 Like, if I was burnt out and tired and needed a trip, I just went on a trip. Mm-hmm. Even if I couldn't find somebody to go with me, I just went alone. Mm-hmm. 5:54 And it wasn't easy, but over time I just built up this superpower of, well, I'm just gonna show up for myself. 6:02 It might look on the surface that I'm having a great time, but there were times internally where I was, like, really struggling, but I still showed up, right? Even if it was messy and ugly. 6:11 So that's where the self-love came into play, because life taught me that the o- the one person that matters the most in my world is me, 6:21 and if I don't love myself and nourish myself, then it's very hard for me to give that to another person. 6:27 Uh, so it has been a journey, and so that's why I'm really passionate about helping women understand that you can't get validation from a career, from a partner, from a child, from anybody else outside of you. Right. 6:41 It's if that's the route you go down, you will lose yourself. Mm-hmm. And many women, especially as they progress into middle life, learn that lesson the hard way. So self-love, to me, that's it. 6:53 If you can master that, like I said, being there for yourself on the hard days and the good days, it's a daily practice. V- your life will... 7:03 You can live the life of your dreams once you own your worth internally and you don't outsource it. And then mindset, to tie mindset into that, you are your thoughts. Right. You're just the thinker of your... 7:16 Sorry, you're the thinker of your thoughts, you're not your thoughts. And so our thoughts shape who we are because they drive what we feel, 7:25 and then they drive the actions we take or we don't take, and those impact results that we get in our life. So, 'cause I was stuck with my head, I had this voice inside of me that constantly told me I wasn't good enough. 7:40 Mm-hmm. Like, I was just became very in tune with that as I started to heal from burnout and going on my journey, and I realized, like, "I gotta stop this record." It's like a record that plays. 7:52 And so as I dove into working on my mindset and really healing that voice inside me, I mastered my inner conversation. 8:01 Doesn't mean that I don't crap on myself or eat my feelings or have moments where I think I suck, right? Like, I'm human, but I can pull myself out pretty quickly. 8:11 So mindset matters because your thoughts drive everything. How you talk to yourself, 8:17 like, "I'm, oh, I'm such a basket case," or, "I'm such a hot mess," or whatever it is that you're saying, start to be- starting to become aware of that conversation that you're having. That inner critic- Mm-hmm... 8:31 it's always gonna be there, but, like, how can you tame that and flip the script so that you're speaking to yourself with kindness? 8:39 So that's where the sort of the self-love and the mindset come in, is people don't really pull them together, but for me, master your thoughts 8:50 and they drive everything and, and the ability to pull yourself out of a negative state. So- Mm-hmm... 8:55 that's why I teach my clients mindset is everything in love, in life, in business, everything like that, and it's really just stems from my own journey, so. I love that. Yeah. I love that. 9:06 And I wanna dig a little deeper in your personal journey. I know you weren't always like this. No. 9:11 How long have you been working as a self-love and mindset coach, and, um, how long did it take you to get to that point, I guess? Oh, God, it's a lifetime. So I mean, 9:22 I say that I've got, like, a lifetime, you know, over 25 years of experience in the art of self-devotion 'cause a lot of this is lived experience. Right. Right? I've, I've lived... You know, I've lost a parent. 9:34 I've, I've had challenging dynamics in my personal life. Like, I've gone through burnout. I've numbed myself. I've abused alcohol- Mm... pills, um, emotionally ate. 9:47 Like, numbed myself to avoid dealing with the voice in my head. Mm-hmm. And so through all of that, I've been with myself. I haven't really relied on another person to fix that for me. 10:00 And so the sort of the self-love piece has really been through a lifetime of lived experience, and I started healing about 10, 11 years ago, uh, when I was in burnout and I realized, like, I have to do something to, to... 10:17 There's something happening in here that's not working for me, right? Mm-hmm. 10:20 So I formally started, you know, working with coaches, working on my mindset over a decade ago, and really focused o- the last three years on mastering my inner conversation. 10:32 And as I started down my journey and realized that self-love was the thing, it's probably been about a year since I started to really dive down the path of like, okay, 10:44 there's a way that I can help women with this, especially women that don't live traditional lives, you know, they haven't ticked the boxes, um, to help them find the love that they want, live the life that they want, and become the most aligned version of themselves, 11:01 um, because I know what it's like to live in a world where you feel like no one's talking to you, no one sees you, right? 11:09 Because s- so, so working with women that don't live that traditional life and who haven't followed the path of, of motherhood, and then love hasn't happened. They've been blocked in love their entire life like I was. 11:23 Mm-hmm. Um, that's really where my passion lies, and just helping them understand that the most important relationship they have is with themselves, and they're, they're worthy ex- you're worthy exactly as you are. 11:35 Whether you're married or single, or you have a child or you don't have a child, your worth is not determined by whether somebody chooses you or not. Um, your worth is inherent. Mm-hmm. 11:46 And so the last thing I'll say on that is through the journey that I've been on, it became apparent to me that the, the lesson I'm here to heal is to release the belief that being chosen makes me worthy. 12:02 And so that's the lesson that I wanna heal with my clients. Hmm. Could you break that down a little more? You're chosen makes you worthy. What, what do you, what do you mean by that- Well, so-... specifically? Being... 12:12 A lot of us think, you know, the world has taught us that being chosen by another person in love- Hmm... being chosen in friendship- Yeah... 12:20 being chosen, you know, being celebrated in your career, like being chosen, having someone give you accolades, love, that makes you worthy. It's important. Right. Absolutely. Right. Right? Right. 12:32 If you talk about love, you want to be loved by another person. Sure. But it goes right back to having someone else love you doesn't define your worth. Mm-hmm. 12:44 When you love yourself and you feel complete, and it's a daily process, the love that you can give to another person is so much greater. So choose yourself is basically what I'm saying. Right. Right? Okay. 12:58 Yeah, that makes sense. And I've always been taught, too, it's like no one can make you happy but you. Exactly. That's exactly what I'm saying. Mm-hmm. And you can't give what you don't have. Right. Right. 13:08 And how do you know what you have unless you do the work? You gotta do the work. The inner work, the self-love work. You gotta do the work. Yeah. The mindset work. 13:17 And I wanna do, I definitely wanna go back to mindset because I know mindset starts with everything- Mm-hmm... you do in life. Yeah. 13:23 You just said that earlier, in your relationships, in your work, and, and the things you do, you practice, your habits every day. Everything, yeah. Yeah. 13:31 And so it took you, it sounds like took you years to kind of figure out your mindset. Oh, absolutely. 13:37 [laughs] And I'm just curious, why do you think it took you so long, and, um, what was that awakening moment of like, "Something's gotta change"? Uh, 13:50 I think, I don't think there's, there's not one specific awakening moment. I think there were a series of awakening moments. Hmm. Um, and it was really just me 14:03 becoming, starting to become aware of how I was feeling, right? Once I had that awareness of 14:10 what I was doing and I was judging other women who had the life that I had wanted that I didn't have, like, why that happened for her and it didn't happen for me? Why did she get that and I didn't get that? 14:23 Like, it sounds so grade five, right? It sounds so petty. [laughs] It sounds so petty, but we compare ourselves. We look at someone else's highlight reel- Right... um- And compare... and we compare ourselves. 14:33 And so for me, it was a journey once I started to awaken and question everything in my life- Hmm... my upbringing, why I did the work I did, why I went into corporate, why I got, kept losing my job. 14:46 Like, everything about my life I started to question. Hmm. Um, and so that process for me just, it takes time because you start to... I started to work with one coach around one area of my life- Hmm... 14:59 and, and to have learnings, and then went to another coach and- Hmm... worked on another area of my life. So I kind of strategically 15:07 worked with healers and teachers that helped me to uncover and peel back the layers of the onion that I am. Hmm. 'Cause that's what we are. We're like an onion, right? Right. 15:16 We have a outer layer that we present to people, and then as we peel it back, right, we get to the root of our psyche. So- Right... 15:25 that's what took time, was me just going through the journey of, like, uncovering and peeling back these layers, and every time I peeled back a layer, I would go through, I feel like a period where 15:39 I just would, my head would get in the way and I would just feel really bad about myself, right? Hmm. And I would constantly go back to this feeling that I wasn't good enough, like I'm not good enough. 15:49 Like I, I did ego work, right? I, I started to look at the thoughts I was having and realize that, you know, I cre- you know, we create an ego. Hmm. As babies, we're born as like these free beings. Mm-hmm. 16:04 Uh, we're not born feeling jealousy and envy and comparison. How does that happen? I don't know. It's a learned skill, I guess. It's a learned skill. [laughs] And s- We see others doing it, so we wanna mimic them. Yeah. 16:16 Yeah. And we, we become a conditioned version of ourselves- Hmm... to shield ourselves from pain and grief and loss- Right... and abandonment- Hmm... and all the things that happen. And so 16:26 it took time for me to acknowledge that. So it's like doing the work and peeling back the layer, and then you think you're okay, and then you just keep exploring and you're like, "Nope, there's more. Oh, there's more." 16:38 And you can't start a healing journey and again, if you picture an onion- Mm-hmm... you have to peel it back over time. Like, it's very hard to take an onion and go peel it right back to the core. Right. 16:51 Um, human beings are a lot more complicated. So- Totally. [laughs] It took time and a lot of kind of rock bottom moments, multiple moments- Mm-hmm... where I was usually by myself- Right... 17:04 and numbing in some way, whether it was alcohol or whatever it was. Right. Right. I abused alcohol for a long time. Oh, okay. Um, and I'm, you know, I've been alcohol-free for a year and a half- Oh, wow... 17:16 which is great. Congrats. Thank you. That's amazing. So yeah, like it's, it's been a, it's a process, right? Mm-hmm. Everything's a process. But, but now that I know, like I had to go through all of that- Mm-hmm... 17:26 so I could be the teacher that I am, and now I can take my clients on the journey that it took me well over kind of a lifetime and a decade of healing through burnout and whatnot to go through. Right. Um, it, 17:42 my goal is to condense that for them, but you know, my journey spanned really, like well over 25 years, so. That's a long time. It is a long time. And to figure that out through that process takes time, too. It does. 17:57 We don't realize how much time that does take, so. It does, yeah. Yeah. So, um, I always love asking this question, but like what advice would you tell your younger self [laughs] Yeah... 18:10 about where you're at right now when you're talking about self-love and, and mindset? As corny, as corny as this is gonna sound- Okay... it's gonna sound, like, really corny. [laughs] Like, you could find it on a magnet. 18:23 Yeah. I mean, you're good enough exactly as you are. Mm. Like, you just- I love that. Yeah... you just are. Like- Yeah... you're good enough exactly as you are. Mm. Happy, sad, messy, 18:35 whatever, however you show up- Mm-hmm... that's what self-love really is about. Yeah. It's about being who you authentically are and loving that person- Mm-hmm... through all of the good and the bad, right? 18:48 Loving yourself when you're angry- Yeah... and being okay to express anger. I used to never be able to get angry 'cause I was afraid. Yeah. I couldn't rock the boat. Oh, got it. So- Interesting... 19:01 that's what I would tell her, like, "You're good enough exactly as you are." Mm-hmm. It's a simple statement, but it's very, there's a lot behind that. Mm. Yeah. I love that. I love that. 19:12 Yeah, self-acceptance, I feel like that's really hard, um, especially for women to- Totally... to have and to- It's-... to be okay with just being themselves. And I know society doesn't do a good job- No... 19:26 of that at all. If anything, it does the opposite, so maybe that's why so many women struggle with just being themselves. Yeah. I mean, I had this conversation with someone- Mm... yesterday that 19:39 f- uh, for a woman, the moment that you're born and you come out of the womb [laughs] like, you're basically handed this invisible memo, right? That there's two things as a woman you're supposed to do. Mm. 19:52 Get married, have a child, and but in the middle of all that, it's like, you know, "Oh, you have a zit. Cover that up. You know, wax your hair. Crimp it. Cut it. Style it. Um, put makeup on your face. Lose weight. 20:07 Oh, no, you've lost too m- you've lost too much weight. Now you look skinny and anorexic." Like, "Wear that piece of clothing. Oh, that looks like crap." Like- Mm-hmm... you go down the aisle of a store- Yeah... 20:17 for a woman, most of the products are for women, so the entire industry tells you that who you are, like, as you are, you gotta fix it, cover it up, put lipstick on it. 20:30 I mean, I love a red lip like I'm wearing now, but we're- Mm... told this, right? Right. So it's hard. You know, I wouldn't show up for this, like, you know, I, you know, put an effort in and showed up for this, right? 20:42 Right. That's important, obviously. Which is important- Yeah, yeah... but, you know, like, it's- But still... it's also, like, we're taught as women- Mm-hmm... 20:48 that every part of ourselves needs to be fixed, crimped, cut- Mm-hmm... waxed, whatever, and, and we're s- you know, a lot of women are silenced, right? Mm-hmm. 20:58 And we're taught there's a certain way we're supposed to live, so- Right... the world doesn't do a good job of it, and I think a lot of women are waking up to that, and that- Mm... 21:07 usually happens kind of later on in life. Right. Yeah. When they're just sick and tired [laughs] of it. No, you, you, you... What happens to a lot of- Mm... high-achieving women is you carry this armor, right? 21:18 Like, you, you go through life carrying this armor, you know, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna push through it. And you kind of do what you're supposed to do and what you're taught to do, and what happens- Yeah... 21:28 for a lot of women, and what happened for me, is on the surface I looked like I was good- Mm-hmm... but deep down I was struggling, 'cause I was doing- Right... work that didn't light me up. I was exhausted all the time. 21:39 I was burnt out. I was lonely. Mm. Like, I just hated my life, but on the surface you couldn't tell- Right... 'cause I put on a suit and a nice pair of shoes and I went and got it done. Mm. 21:49 But when the armor starts to crack, like it does for a lot of women, my burnout started at 35. Wow. Like, I started to kind of question and just go like, "What? Is this it?" Mm-hmm. 22:02 And so I think a lot of women go through that and that unraveling process and realizing, like, no, I'm gonna live the life I wanna live, not the l- life that society or someone else tells me to live. Right. Right. 22:16 No, I love that. I love that. I wanna talk about your social media a little bit- Yeah... because I feel like that's, uh, you've had a few viral clips on Instagram, which has- I have... been pretty exciting. Yeah. 22:25 And I find going through your content, you know, of just you're, you're on this, like, rebellious stage, you know? [laughs] It's like you're just almost angry to the point of, like, you know, this is me. 22:37 This is who I am. Yeah. I don't give a fuck who anyone wants. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. And I just like, I, I'm gonna just show my true self. Yeah. So, um, talk to me about your content a little bit. Yeah. 22:48 Share with me a little bit about, you know, what brings this almost rage through your ve- [laughs] Uh, th- that's how I feel. I'm like, oh, my gosh, she's really embracing herself. Oh. 22:56 It's exciting, 'cause- God, I was like, is that- [laughs] I realize there's probably lately, as of late, there's been some rage. Okay. [laughs] Um, I, I love- We can talk about that... social media and I use it to- Mm... 23:09 express myself, but what was happening for me is I was, I think I was struggling to really express what I was feeling- Mm... 'cause I didn't wanna piss people off. Mm. Um, and again, like, I help women. 23:24 I'm passionate about helping women that don't tick the boxes- Right... that don't live the home/work life. 23:29 And when you're child-free and you're, you know, you're living kind of this, quote-unquote, other life, you, by expressing your opinions, you're automatically in some ways going against the narrative that society tells us, right? 23:44 Right. Like, the woman who got married, had a baby, did the thing. Right. Um, and so that was hard for me because I didn't wanna disrespect or upset somebody that has that life. 23:54 However, what I've learned to do through my journey with creating content and as a content creator, um, I was, I was, I'll fully admit, like, up until a month ago, I don't know, five weeks ago, I was using AI to help me create scripts and like, this w- Mm... 24:11 fed it my v- did all the things, right? Sure. Fed it my voice, right? Mm-hmm. Like every, every coach does, and I'm like, I thought I was doing it right. And I was using scripts to help me create content. 24:22 I was getting some views, that's nice. Yeah. But I went through a challenge, and, and the challenge for me was to not use AI and to really clear my throat chakra and harness my voice. Mm. 24:36 And that was hard for me because... But I did it. That was, like, five or six weeks ago. Mm-hmm. And that's when the, I think, the Band-Aid came off, and then I cleared the throat chakra, and I said, "Fuck it." 24:51 Like, your social media is for y- for your, you and the people you serve. It's not for your friends. Mm-hmm. And it's okay to repel people. It's okay to express an opinion that somebody's not going to like. 25:05 The more love that you get, the more hate that you will get. And so yeah, I've, over the last five or six weeks, my content has, my social media, my following has tripled. Wow. Because I just, I stopped using 25:22 AI, and I started just pressing the button and riffing. Okay. Um, and then there's editing, right? Like- Of course... as you get better and better at it. But yeah, there's... 25:33 It was me just kind of expressing my views around parenthood- Mm... being somebody that comes from, you know, has experienced challenging family dynamics. So my clients are child-free, hyper-independent daughters. 25:48 And so I have been expressing my rage and sort of my disappointment around some of the things I've experienced, which my clients have experienced, and that's what you're seeing. Mm. So there's- Okay... 26:00 that sort of challenging family dynamics are added with being child-free in the middle of your life, added with current, being currently single, and just kind of the challenges that come with that, the loneliness that comes with that, the feeling like you don't belong, right? 26:18 Because most of the women your age are doing different things. Right. 26:20 So that's what you're seeing, but what you're, what's also happening is as I just authentically talk about the experience and where I was and where my journey's going, I have women going, "Oh my God, I feel so seen." Mm. 26:37 So my learning is say what you wanna say. The people who don't wanna follow you, they're going to unfollow you, and that's okay. Right. You're going to piss people off. It doesn't mean you're not good enough. 26:51 You can block them- Mm-hmm... or just say, "I love you." Like, and so there has been some anger coming out as I kind of clear my throat chakra, and I'm like, yeah, like- Mm-hmm... 27:03 it's, this, it's hard being in this situation, and these women struggle. They're hyper-independent. They're doing life alone. They're exhausted. Right. And, 27:13 and so it, it's kind of that other, being in that place of feeling like you're living this other life that mo- you're not, your, society tells you you're not supposed to live, right? Like- Right... 27:25 most women my age are married with children. If they're single, they're divorced, and they're co-parenting, and I'm sorry, but the rate of gray divorce is on the rise. It's what happens. Right. 27:37 Uh, and so I'm kind of starting to go, "Well, you know, fuck you. Like, this is my life, and like- Yeah... is that life really better?" Right. So yeah, you're seeing some rage. [laughs] Um, but it's all around- Yeah... 27:52 really when you can empathize with your ideal client- Mm... and show them that you understand their life. Like, that's what I'm seeing coming out now- Mm-hmm... is women going, "Oh my God, that's me." Yeah. 28:06 No, I love that. And that's, that's what you're seeing with the growth and whatnot. People don't want fake and pretty all the time. Right. Right. This is true. [laughs] They, they want authenticity, right? 28:18 Yeah, and I'm nothing if not authentic. [laughs] You know, if you wanna, if you wanna see... Like- Mm... you can't talk about self-love and preach that- Mm... 28:28 and then go out and have an Instagram or a Facebook following where you're happy and bouncy all the time. Like, you just can't do that- Mm-hmm... 'cause that's not reality. Right. 28:37 So yes, when I have bad moments, after I move through it and there's still tears on my face- Mm-hmm... I will whip out my phone- Right... and do some B-roll- Mm... 28:48 so people can see, like, this is part of the journey, right? Yeah. And- I love that... it's just the life of a content creator, so. Yeah. Yeah. 28:56 No, I think that's amazing, and I'm, I'm loving that you're not using AI anymore too because- Yeah... I think everyone's using it, and it's just another way that you can separate yourself from everyone else. Absolutely. 29:07 And I have noticed too that m- the videos I don't do AI, they, they do perform a lot better. Yeah. People resonate with them, you know? It's like they will actually watch them through and through, so. 29:16 Yeah, and that's, and you know, I'm starting to see my content- Mm... being shared. Right. Right. And so that makes me feel good 'cause someone's like- Mm... "Oh my God, she gets me." Right. 29:26 And if you're serving people, what I've realized is that's what you want. Like, the people you follow- Mm-hmm... you follow them because they're saying something that stirs something within you. 29:40 And so I love that there's women that, that are like, "Oh my God, she's... Like, it's like she's in my head." Mm. So yeah, don't use AI to create your content. That's my biggest learning. Like- Yeah... 29:53 and like, I'm just expressing my experience, my voice, my opinion, and holding space for the part of me that's like, oh my God, you might piss someone off. But if that's okay, you can unfollow me, and I'm fine with that. 30:06 That's fine. And it's fine. 'Cause nobody cares. Nobody give, nobody gi- Nobody, nobody cares... mo- that's one thing I realized. Mm-hmm. Like, nobody gives a shit what you're doing. 30:15 No, 'cause they're all so self-absorbed too. 'Cause we're all absorbed. [laughs] The only person that worries about- Like, you're so busy worrying about what other people think. Right. They're not thinking about you. 30:25 Like, they don't care. Mm-hmm. Yeah. They're too busy trying [laughs] to deal with their own crap. They have a lot of shit. We have- We all have shit... really complicated lives too- Yeah... 30:32 if you think about it, and it's like, do you think they really have time to really judge you based off your content? Like, let's be real. Yeah, and- Like, nobody's got time for that. 30:39 [laughs] No, and, and again, like- Mm... you're going to repel... That's one of the learnings I had- Mm-hmm... in the last, like, six weeks. Yeah. You will repel people. Mm-hmm. 30:49 And that's, if you repel people- It's okay... you're doing your job. There you go. 'Cause the people that don't wanna hear about your- Mm... you know, me talking about being child free- Mm-hmm... 31:00 and my views on, you know, parenthood and the, you know, not everybody should be a parent. Yeah. Right? Like- Sure... 31:07 if you're child free, we think, probably spend more time thinking about the decision to not have a child- Right... versus kind of the expectation that you just have a child. I started putting that out there. 31:18 I'm like, "Most of y'all shouldn't be parents." Mm. So if you're gonna have a child, you're passing on your trauma to them. Right. And as somebody that's been dealing with the impacts of that, 31:31 and someone who's a cycle breaker, and my clients are cycle breakers- Hello, and welcome, uh, to One Eleven Podcast. 31:39 I'm your host, Donald Desrosier, and this is your co-host, Stella, my black, magical cat, and we want to take you on a journey through the entrepreneurs that I interview about their new beginning stories. That's right. 31:53 So One Eleven is all about conscious entrepreneurs and the health and wellness, spirituality, and I am there to talk about their stories and get to know them on a deeper level. 32:04 And would absolutely love it if you could subscribe and review to it and rate it. Uh, right below this video here, I've got the, uh, player that you can check out the podcast. 32:13 And if you feel so bold as to contribute financially and become a sponsor, that would be amazing. That would make Stella so happy here. 32:23 So, uh, if you have any questions about the tiers, about joining the One Eleven Founders Sponsorship, uh, program, definitely feel free to DM me, and, uh, we can jump on a call and talk more about it, but I would absolutely love for you to join the community and join something that we're building from the ground up. 32:43 So get in early, and I would absolutely love for you to join in on the fun and, uh, contribute and be a part of something bigger than just yourself. And this is a great time to actually help me build a podcast. 32:56 So if you've always wanted to start a podcast or you just wanna contribute to a podcast and seeing how it grows, this is a perfect time for you. And so thank you again. Uh, my name is Donald Desrosier. 33:08 This is Stella here, and welcome to One Eleven Podcast. I'll catch you on the next interview. Or the black sheep, it's a very heavy load to bear. Mm. So I have an opinion around that, and I've started talking about it. 33:21 Like, if you're gonna have a kid, have a child, absolutely, but do, do whatever you can to be the best version of yourself for your child- Yeah... so that you're passing on, like, the best that you can. 33:34 I mean, being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Right. Kudos. [laughs] But yeah, like- I don't have kids, but yeah Yeah. So that's- Just a cat, but yeah... kind of where I'm at with all of it. 33:42 [laughs] No, no, I get it. I get it. Yeah. 33:44 And I think just being your authentic self, you know, just, just being who you are, and like, I, I, I wanna know more about how you got started with your videos 'cause I know that's one of the hardest things just starting- Yeah... 33:57 as a content creator, and I'm sure you're nervous- Yeah... a little anxious talking in front of the camera. 34:03 Um, yeah, what advice would you give someone who's just starting out, you know, and just trying to be their authentic self on a camera? Yeah. I would say just start. Mm-hmm. Start messy. 34:14 Like, I started creating content a couple years ago. Yeah. You know, I did Toastmasters for a couple years during COVID, so I got- Yeah... used to seeing myself on a screen. Mm, it does take time. 34:24 [laughs] Um, and I just started creating content and doing, like, doing things where I would mimic other people's voices, you know? Yeah. 34:33 When you, you see a reel, and all of mine are usually around personal development- Right... and I would find reels that resonated and kind of like mimic their voices, right? 34:44 Like, I did kind of more quote, unquote, I don't know, copying, if you wanna call that word. Sure. 'Cause it wasn't my voice. Mm-hmm. So that's how you need to start, start. And then I just started watching other people 34:57 and following other creators, and I'm like, "What are they doing?" And taking courses and learning. 35:02 So if you're just starting, pick up your phone, go into edits, and just start talking and show up messy, show up with makeup on, show up with your sweatpants on, whatever is comfortable for you, and just start talking and just the more you do it, the easier it gets. 35:20 You get your reps in. Mm. And I had to go through my journey with it. Right. And then I fell in love with creating content and doing B-roll and, and sharing my life and, you know. I found my line, 35:34 but I like sharing my life and what I'm doing 'cause people wanna know who you are. Definitely. It's not just pretty, perfect all the time, so just pick up your phone, start recording. Mm-hmm. 35:45 And if, even if it's 15 seconds of you saying whatever you wanna say- Mm-hmm... you gotta rip off the Band-Aid, so the more you do it, the easier it gets. Definitely. That's what I'd say. Yeah. 35:56 Practice makes permanence. Practice makes permanence. Mm-hmm. And it took me probably a couple years. I literally just stopped using AI, like, like six weeks ago. And my- Like for everything or just the videos? 36:06 Like, just for the videos. Okay. [laughs] Like, I don't... Whatever you see, you've s- seen over the last, like- Yeah, mm-hmm... probably six weeks, even the captions, like, it's me. It's me writing it. It's nobody. 36:19 It's me doing the videos. Yeah. And you get faster at it, right? Like, I- Harder. It's still hard [laughs] You know, I'm getting better at editing the videos. Yeah. It's not perfect. Mm-hmm. 36:28 Sometimes the caption is missing. Right. Whatever it is, you find your style, and, like, my following has tripled. That's amazing. Right? Just through consistency- Just through consistency... and authenticity. 36:37 Yeah And I, and I started posting three times a day- Three times a day... on Instagram, 'cause that was in... I was in this challenge where I said- Oh my God... the, the idea was to get over the resistance- Right... 36:49 and the rejection- Okay... and the fear. Okay. And so if you're doing it once a day versus three times a day- Yeah... 36:56 doing it three times a day and posting vulnerable things, especially about topics that I wanted to talk about but I was afraid to talk about- Mm-hmm... that's what's also helped is I... 37:09 When you're growing a smaller account, like, I don't have fo- you know, I don't have a million followers, but when you've established authority- Mm-hmm... I think growing an account like that is different. 37:22 You can do more sort of value-added, 'cause you've established authority. But when you're growing a smaller account, and you're building your authority, and I'm still building my following, 37:33 you kind of have to ditch the tips and tricks. Mm-hmm. And I don't do tips and tricks. That's the other tip that I learned. That's a good tip. [laughs] Is AI, everybody's a coach these days. I know. Everybody's using AI. 37:46 Mm-hmm. You can go into Claude or ChatGPT and go, "Give me five ways to whatever"- Sure... and post that with some B-roll- Right... and call yourself a coach. 37:56 So how are you gonna create content that stops, with a hook that stops people- Mm-hmm... that validates their experience and gets them going, "Oh my God, I need to follow her"? Mm. So that's kind of what I've learned 38:11 and really harnessed recently, but it took me a couple years. Couple years. That's a long time. Yeah. [laughs] I know. It's, I'm slow. I'm slow. No, no. 38:21 I think for most people it probably takes that long because, um, it sounds like you found your specific target audience, or your- I did... audience found you. 38:29 And so share with me a little more about your target audience and who- Yeah... are the types of people that you attract to your social media? Yeah. So when I 38:38 started to go down the route of like, okay, I knew I needed to work on messaging. Mm-hmm. And everyone's like, "You need to talk to one person." Like, who's that person? Yeah. 38:48 And, and I just started, I took my life, like me- Okay... and I created the avatar based on my life. Mm. Because your client as a coach is usually somebody that's a couple of steps behind you, right? Mm-hmm. 39:03 Like, you're five years ahead of your client. Right. You're farther ahead, so you can coach them. So- Mm... I created the avatar around myself, and so 39:13 the, the woman that I support, she's a hyper-independent, child-free, high-achieving woman, daughter. Mm-hmm. In the middle of her life. She's not married. She doesn't have kids. Mm. 39:23 She, you know, makes the money, buys the house, the clothes, the shoes, the cosmos, does the thing. Sure. On the surface looks like she's got it all handled. Right. 39:33 But she's got this like, "I can do it by myself" motto because life taught her- Mm... through experience, grief, loss, everything, that nobody was coming to save her, and she had to do everything herself. Mm. 39:47 So on the surface, she looks like she's got it handled, but deep down she's exhausted, and she wants a partner. Mm-hmm. And she's lost most of her friends to marriage and children. Mm-hmm. 39:58 She doesn't have children, however she got to that decision. There's a lot of grief that happens around that when you lose, you lose friends. Mm. 40:07 Um, and so there's this space and void in her life, and she wants to find a partner, but she doesn't know how. So the woman that I talk to is me, 40:17 um, who ha- you know, who hasn't done that healing and wants to call in the right partner and w- I talk about becoming the woman that attracts healthy love because you, who you are, you w- you... 40:33 What's, what's the saying? You get, you don't get what you want. You get what you expect in who you are being. Mm. So if you want to attract a healthy relationship, you don't have to be perfect. Yeah. 40:45 You don't have to be fully healed. That's not what I'm saying. But your vibration and your energy, the person that comes into your life will match that. So if you're, like, 40:56 s- scarce, like, "No one's out there for me, I'm behind, I did life wrong, I'm not living the Hallmark life, there's nobody out there for me"- Mm-hmm... and you mask it with achievement- Mm-hmm... 41:06 even if you do go out there, what do you think you're gonna attract, right? Mm-hmm. And so a lot of these women have been blocked in love their entire life, and so they- Yeah... they're looking around. 41:15 They're like, "Fuck," like, "I did life wrong," like, "I didn't do it right." Yeah. And so that, the woman I, I speak to is a hyper-independent, child-free daughter. She's, she's had stuff happen. 41:26 She's, all of her suffering has happened in the first half of her life, and so the second half is we're all about love and abundance and calling that in for her. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. 41:38 That's beautiful, and five years younger, right? [laughs] Yeah. I mean, like, you know, I, I... She's, she's, you know, she's of a certain age, right? Okay. She's probably at least 40. Okay. I feel like 41:52 in your 20s and 30s, you're kinda going through the motions- Mm... doing what you're supposed to do. Yeah. And a lot of the, lot of the breakdown and the awakening and the awareness and the c- curiosity- Mm-hmm... 42:04 starts to change kind of around your 40s, right? Mm. I was- And that's when the decision- I'm 40... to have a child or not have a child- Yeah, yeah. For sure... 42:12 it look, for a woman, it kind of becomes a bit more cemented, right? Oh, okay. Um, and so things start to change, and you start to lose people as they meet their person- Yeah... and whatnot, so. Right. Got you. 42:23 So that, that's who I speak to, and like- Okay... it, it's nice to see that woman sort of coming into the community that I'm building. Mm-hmm. Um, and I just want her to know that, like, she's right on time. Mm. 42:38 Her life is happening according to divine design and timing, and your soul chooses the pace. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a big believer in timing, and we're here presently for a reason. Yeah. 42:53 In this present state, this is the only thing that matters. Nothing else matters but- Yeah... right now. 42:59 And so, and I love that we're able to share and able to really assess, um, and bring together this meaning when it comes to self-love and mindset. Yeah. And, 43:11 and I, I'm curious too, are most of your clients younger than you, would you say? Yeah. Okay. Most of them are younger. So do you almost feel like a mother figure in a way? Kind of, yeah. [laughs] Okay. 43:23 Yeah, like you know you- Interesting... I'm here to take my lived experience- Yeah... and help women come home to themselves and awaken themselves. Mm. 43:32 So it's not even, it's not about like let me go find a man or let me go find a partner. Obviously that's the end goal, but I wanna, I help them become the women, the woman they want to be. Right. 43:44 They're, they're- So they can attract the right partner... so they can attract the right person- Okay... but in doing- Mm-hmm... but in living the life they want and healing themselves and doing the work they love and 43:55 aligning themselves with the right connections and taking care of themselves, right? Which self-love impacts every area of your life. Mm-hmm. Owning your worth, it naturally happens- Mm-hmm... right? 44:07 So my thing is about you becoming the best version of you. Right. And trust me, as you do that, your energy will change and shift, and who you attract in your life will be a vibrational match to that. 44:19 So I focus on you- Right... um, less on like dating strategies and- [laughs]... go on this app and wait two hours to text- Mm... a man, 'cause I've hired that coach. You have? Uh- How did that go? Tell me. 44:33 [laughs] I wanna hear. This is juicy. [laughs] Well, it- It wasn't working... you know, I learned some, I learned some- Yeah... great tactics. I mean- Yeah. Sure... these women are hyper-independent- Sure... 44:43 and so they've been parentified. Mm-hmm. They've had to grow up really fast. They're the fixers. They're the ones in their families- Mm... that were the first call. Mm-hmm. So they, they never had s- space to fall apart. 44:56 Okay. And so in a relationship you want someone that's going to help expand the life you've created, right? Mm-hmm. So you don't want, you don't want a man, you got a parent. Yeah. Right? Like who wants that? Yeah. 45:10 And a lot of women end up- Sure... in that situation. So- Good... when you're in your masculine energy- Yeah... as a woman, right, we, we all as beings have masculine energy and feminine energy. Right. 45:23 As a man you have both energies. Mm-hmm. But you predominantly have masculine energy and a woman- Right... predominantly has feminine energy. 45:30 But what's happened with a lot of these high achieving women, and I experience this, is you're so up in your head- Mm-hmm... um, because life didn't teach you to be s- feel safe. Right. 45:40 So our feminine energy, we need safety. Mm. Right? So if you want a relationship where you can relax and allow an empowered masculine man to, you know, be a partner to you, 45:54 um, you need, you can't go into that relationship in your masculine energy 'cause you're gonna attract a man who's in his feminine energy. And so what happens in that relationship? You're quote unquote the man, 46:08 and then you attract a man who's kind of in that opposite energy, 'cause the pol- law of polarity says in a romantic relationship one has to be in one energy and the other has to be in the other energy. 46:20 Does that make sense? Yeah. Um, and so yeah. So I mean I, you know, I did work with a coach and it was like I had to learn how to be feminine- Mm-hmm... again. Right. Right? 46:33 Because I didn't, like I was so like I'm the one that gets it done. I'm the alpha. I make the money. I do the thing. Mm. And so- I see... I had to learn a, you know, and what I coach my clients is- Mm-hmm... 46:44 you have to learn how to soften- Mm... and allow a man to pay the bill. Allow m- allow- Right... a man to take care of you. Allow a man to pick you up like versus you having to con- control and do [laughs] do everything. 46:56 Right. So part of that experience was like- Mm... being high value and not like responding right away. So wait a certain amount of time, right? 47:03 Like, you know, and now I look back and I'm like, okay, that, that could be a strategy. Right. But again, I think it's real- I go back to like just own your own worth, and when you're- Mm... 47:15 comfortable in yourself and you feel whole and complete within yourself, a relationship is the icing on the cake, right? Mm-hmm. 47:24 It's when you're like in the scarcity place of like oh my God, like I need to meet somebody, right? Like how many of us have done that? I need to be with somebody. Mm. 47:33 That's when you end up in those situations where you're like doing everything wrong and you attract the wrong partners and, and that's what I did, right? Yeah. And so I'm at a point in my life where I'm like 47:46 I'm, I know how to be with myself. Like I'm complete as I am. Yeah. I know I'm not perfect, and- Right... 'cause nobody is. Right. So whoever enters my life in that way, like you're just icing on the cake for me. Right. 47:58 No- Yeah... I love that. No, thanks for sharing. So it, it sounds like to me that it's you're the, the coach before the dating coach [laughs] for the win. Yeah. Yeah. Basically. Yeah, I mean- Yeah. 48:10 [laughs] Like you- Exactly. Yeah. I mean like I, I s- I firmly believe- Mm-hmm... that w- We should all learn how to be with ourselves. For sure. 48:19 And my life taught me to master the relationship I have with myself before I was able to really experience... I'm able to really experience that with another person. Mm-hmm. 48:29 And that's been my journey, that's what I know. Right. And my clients have spent most of their lives on their own. Mm-hmm. So yeah, I'm all about doing the work. Do the work, right? It's not about being perfect. 48:41 It's not about going into a relationship thinking, "I gotta know everything, and I gotta be perfect and not have any issues." Right. But the more awareness that you have about yourself, 48:52 um, the happier you are with yourself, the m- the happier your relationship will be. You still need to go out there and learn how to be with another person and go through the motions and do the dates. 49:03 You still need to do that. Right. But I'm the person that you see before you go, you know, you go hire the dating coach, right? Mm-hmm. Obviously, I help my clients get into that. Sure. 49:15 But there's healing that needs to happen. There's mindset work that needs to happen- Yeah... especially if you're hyper independent. Yes. Um, [ts] 'cause there's... It's a survival pattern- Right... is what it is. Yeah. 49:26 Oh, okay. Interesting. So when it comes to your marketing- Yeah... 49:30 um, where do you find most of your strengths, and where do you find, like, some of your weaknesses when it comes to marketing this self- self-love, mindset coach mentality? Um, I'm learning, just like everybody. Mm-hmm. 49:43 I mean, I had to... I'm... I had to learn how to talk to one person. Mm-hmm. And so that's something I've recently, 'cause you've seen in my content- Yeah... um- It's very targeted, yes. [laughs] To target, 'cause I... 49:57 And I felt bad- Yes... when I fir- Mm-hmm... I was like, I felt bad, 'cause I'm like, "Oh my God, I really wanna help child-free women." Right. But then I felt bad, 'cause I was like, "Oh my God, am I limiting myself?" 50:08 Oh. Like, what about the women that have children? Right. I, I felt guilty. Okay. Um, but then I was like, if I was starting a moms group, would I feel guilty? Mm, maybe. I, I don't know. Would you? Probably not, no. 50:21 Okay. [laughs] So I had to realize and learn- Mm-hmm... how to speak to one person- Okay... and to really talk from my own experience, 'cause that authenticity is what's coming through in the content now. Mm-hmm. 50:36 Um, and talking to her in, like, basic language. Mm-hmm. Like, you know, 50:42 you spend most of your time alone, and, like, your phone never rings 'cause all your friends are married with kids, and you're just like, "I'm so sick of this." Mm-hmm. 50:52 "And I'm exhausted from being the CEO of my life, the dog walker, the maid. I just fired myself as the maid, and now you want me to go date somebody? Fuck off." Mm-hmm. 51:03 So that resonates with the woman that I'm talking to, 'cause she's like, "Oh, that's my life." Mm-hmm. So I've gotten better at that. Um- Okay... but it took me time to get there, and I'm still learning it. Right. 51:14 You have to talk to one person if you're building a following online. You have to market to one person. It doesn't mean you can't help somebody- Mm-hmm... that doesn't fit into that mold, right? Mm-hmm. 51:29 Um, and then, you know, I, I like creating content. I talk to a lot of other coaches that don't like social media. Yeah. And they find it work. Mm-hmm. And for me, it's like- It's like play almost... it's like play. 51:41 Yeah. It's not work. Like, when I was... As we were setting up- Mm-hmm... like, I was just whipping out my phone- Yeah... and, like, B-roll It's always cool. It's nice... it's become really natural for me. That's nice. 51:51 So I think y- you know, you have to find what you like about creating content, and also the platforms you're on. I mean, you know how many- Mm-hmm... 51:58 people have told me, "Get on LinkedIn," and I'm like, "I don't like that." Mm-hmm. "Oh, your clients are on LinkedIn, Nisha." I go, "But I don't like it there." Sure. 52:07 So that's going to reflect in the content I'm creating. It's not fun for me there. Right. So- It's not that fun... find the platform you like- [laughs] Yeah... 52:15 and find what you like about it, but also understand that, like, if you don't like it, is there a way you can outsource it? That's true. Um, but at the end of the day, 52:25 I, I think social media is a great way for you to harness your voice. Mm-hmm. And the only way that you're going to build your thought leadership is if you open your mouth- Definitely. Okay... without AI. 52:34 Communication is key, that's for sure. You have to know how to communicate with your audience- Yeah... specifically, it sounds like targeted too, like you've done on social media. Yeah. 52:43 So it sounds like marketing through social media has been the best way that you've been able to find your clients. For me, yeah. Right. Yes. For you. Yeah. Yeah. 52:50 So no, no, like, referrals or no kind of- No, mainly 'cause I, I'm very active on social media. Okay. I, I wanna master that, and I'm start- I'm mastering it. Yeah. 53:01 So I've attracted my clients through my content, which is great. Mm-hmm. Uh, you can still, you know, meet people in person. Obviously, that's a part of it. Yeah. 53:10 But social media for me is the main way that I'm- Interesting... growing. Okay. Yeah. 'Cause I know everyone markets differently, you know? Yeah. So I'm, uh... 53:19 I, I've always thought, like, you know, because I'm pretty much in social media myself- Yeah... it's like I found a few clients, but more than anything, it's been, like, in person, you know? 53:28 And establishing relationships in person- Yeah... has been a really strong strength, and even through this podcast- Yeah... believe it or not. Of course. 53:34 So, uh, because relationships are everything in business, in work, in play, and whatnot. And so on social media, I know it's a big struggle for a lot of entrepreneurs to 53:47 keep showing up and, and establish that relationship, because I feel like our attention is fleeting so fast. It is. 53:54 And then we live in this attention economy, so I'd love to hear more about how do you get people's attention so quickly, or how, how do you think you do in, in trying to- Um... produce th- this content, so. 54:07 So I've learned the value of a really good hook. Mm. Um- Nice... and- Take note. [laughs] Yeah. You gotta- Tell, tell us about hooks. Yes. [laughs] You gotta hook people in, like- Uh-huh... the first couple of seconds. 54:21 Mm-hmm. Uh, I change... I usually In some of my videos, change th- the screen every couple seconds. Like, I string B-roll together. Yeah. Uh, so I've seen people like that. Cool. And, you know, 54:36 using templates and using, us- it doesn't always have to be a talking head video, but I do some videos where I literally just have B-roll, and whatever I wanna say is just on the screen. Hmm. 54:50 Um, and I've targeted at the top of the screen hyper-independent, childfree daughter. Those have done really well in terms of views. Okay. Again, you have to convert to sales, but- Of course. 54:59 [laughs] Um, I find the, it's the hook. Okay. And then just, like, talk, think about who you want to talk to, and what are they thinking? Like, what is their biggest problem? Like- Hmm... 55:10 my client is sitting at home on a Friday night after being the CEO of her life. Mm-hmm. And her phone doesn't ring, and she's lonely. Like, she can do life, but she's, like, fucking, like, scrolling like Bridget Jones. 55:22 Dude scrolling, yeah. Drinking a glass of red wine. Mm-hmm. And she's like, "How is this my life?" Like- Yeah... so get in her head. It's just- And you just gotta hook people. Mm-hmm. 55:33 And I, and I, I mean, I'm seeing growth. I'm seeing benefit, and I'm using automation. Mm-hmm. Uh, I do... So social media, media to me is a way to, quote-unquote, get cl- like, get people 55:47 attracted to you and to your message, but at the end of the day, when I coach my clients, it's one-on-one, right? Right. I do it virtually, but it's one-on-one. Right. So social media is a tool 55:58 for you to target anybody in the world- Yeah... like, that is your ideal client, and get them to look at your content. Right. And if you consistently show up and say the same thing over and over again. Mm-hmm. 56:12 I basically say the same thing over and over again. [laughs] In different ways. [laughs] I... In different ways. Yeah. But, like- Yeah... it's repetition. Hmm. Like, it's not that complicated. So- It's not... 56:23 I think people try to make it more than it is, and, and then, you know, sometimes there are times when, you know, you gotta make it happy. It's not all, like, lately- Mm-hmm... it's been, you know, some rage and anger. 56:36 Um, but it's also- Right. [laughs]... about talking about the transformation. So- Mm-hmm... it's, it's a process, right? Yeah. 56:42 It's just a tool to grab people, and when you look at the number, how many billion users are on Meta? So many. I think- It's a whole c- like- Meta is-... it's a country, right? 56:54 And YouTube, I think, are the highest user bases. So why, like- Yeah... why are you not leveraging the power of social media? Doesn't make sense. It has its, like everything, it has its- Cons... you know, has its cons. 57:06 Like everything. But I mean, again, the worst thing that's gonna happen is somebody is gonna s- troll you or say something crappy about you. I'm, I've been called, like, a dirty Indian, and, like- Oh my gosh. 57:16 You just block them, you know? It's fine. Yeah, or- It's not that bad... you just respond with, "I love you." Oh, I bet that gets them. [laughs] Right? Respond with love. There you go. And- Kill them with kindness. 57:28 [laughs] You gotta get in your client's head. Mm-hmm. A h- the hook is everything. Yeah. Keep it short, and find a way to get your clients... You know, it, social media is still rented space. It is. 57:42 And- So you gotta get them on a list, right? And, uh- Do you have a newsletter or something? Mm-hmm. Yeah, like, I mean, I work on, you know, I do a conversion event every two weeks, like a workshop. Nice. 57:52 Um, where I help my clients build, you know, build their identity, the identity they wanna step into, the woman that has the love she wants. Mm-hmm. 58:00 And so that, you know, gets, gets, you know, you get their email address. Yep. Build an email list. Yeah. Because I've had my account shut down on Instagram before. Like, we know- Mm... 58:11 like, you, there's things that can happen. Right. So- Yeah... it's a tool, right? Right, right. You have to abide by the rules. It's a tool, but build an offline list- Mm-hmm... so that if something happens- Right... 58:26 you're n- you're not, like, dead to the world because you have no- nobody's contact information. And like I said- Yeah... the right people will un- will continue to subscribe. Right. 58:36 The wrong people will unsubscribe to your email list and unfollow you. There you go. Yeah. That's just what it is. It's a numbers game at the end of the day, huh? It is, yeah. Yeah. 58:46 And I think you have to consistently put in the work- You do... which you're doing, and getting people's attention with that hook, I think, is really important too. It's huge. Yeah. 58:55 And, um, just one last question about that. When you're talking about hooks too, just for people who are just like, "Um, what, what- Yeah... what is a hook? I have no idea." 59:02 Like, would you mind just breaking that down a little bit of what, what, w- what puts in an, like, a, a good hook, I guess, for people- Um-... wanting to learn more? It makes... Like, think about, 59:12 like, if you talk about Instagram. Mm-hmm. Think about the, the videos that make you stop, right? A hook is that sentence that you put at the top of the page or wherever you're putting it- Okay... 59:23 that it's the first thing that someone sees, right? Something like, you know, "This is why you've been single your entire life." That's a good one. So if you're somebody that is single- Mm-hmm... 59:34 and you're like, "Oh, crap," like, "What is that?" Mm-hmm. That's gonna make you stop. Hmm. Or, you know, a lot of the ones of mine that have gone viral are thing- where I reflect back as somebody that's in her 50s. 59:49 Um, my most viral one, I think it has four and a half million views. Wow. And I didn't even think about it. It was a hook that I found off someone else's, 'cause I'm always looking. Sure, sure. 1:00:02 And it's okay- Research, yeah... to take a hook that- Of course... somebody else did- Yeah... and make it your own. There's no problem with that, right? Right. 1:00:08 But I found a hook, and it was, like, the 10 things I changed at 50 that I wish I knew at 35, 'cause 35 is when I started to burn out. Oh. And it took me, like- Wow... I don't know, 10 minutes. Mm-hmm. 1:00:22 Out of my own head, here are the 10 things. Mm-hmm. Next thing you know, I had 14,000 people follow me on Facebook- Wow [laughs]... on my business page. So the best, the ones- Awesome... 1:00:32 I've done are the ones where I'm like, I wrote it, there's no AI, I'm not thinking about it. Right. 1:00:38 And I was reflecting back, so if you're somebody that's scrolling, you're like, "Oh my God, what, what, what's the thing she changed at 50 that she wished she knew?" Mm. Um, or like, "Don't do this. 1:00:50 If you wanna find love, don't do this." Right. Like negative hooks. There you go. So it's that phrase that you have. Mm-hmm. You gotta hook people in and make somebody go, "Oh, wait a minute, what's that?" 1:01:01 And make them read or watch whatever it is you're saying, or a contrast hook, which is what I'm doing a lot of right now, where I talk about my client's hardship- Mm-hmm... 1:01:13 and how it's the best thing that could've happened to her- Mm... in terms of her love life. Love it. Like, if you're a loner- Yeah... that's a sign that love's coming for you. [laughs] That's really popular, right? 1:01:26 'Cause you're, like, validating- Mm-hmm... someone's experience. Yeah. It's making them feel seen- Mm-hmm... and going, "Okay, maybe I'm not screwed up." Right. "Maybe there's hope for me." Yeah. 1:01:38 So tho- those are- Wow... some of the ones that work. No, great examples. Thank you so- Yeah... 1:01:42 much for sharing, because yeah, I think a lot of people, they get into their own heads, and they overthink when it comes to hooks, and it's like it can be as basic as that. It's not that hard. 1:01:51 Yeah, and I've learned this through, like, trial and error- Mm-hmm... and going out there consistently. It's not like I just woke up and learned it. Sure. 1:01:59 So I've had information from other creators and coaches that I follow- Mm-hmm... that have kind of all said the same thing. Mm. So find your teachers, right? Yeah. Right. 1:02:09 And then look at which ones perform and which ones don't. Like, there's certain topics that resonate, other topics that don't. Um, and it's looking at the numbers or people sharing this, and all of that. 1:02:21 So all the things when I started that people told me to do, and I was like, "Oh, my God, I can't do that, that feels so hard"- Mm... over time, as I've consistently gone out there, I'm like, "Oh, that's what they meant." 1:02:34 Right. Right? Yeah, right. Yeah. It takes time. Yeah, so some research then, obviously. Yeah. 1:02:39 And just showing up and, like, looking to see what other creators are doing, and then copying them, um, and then- Yeah, making it your own... putting your own spin on it. Yeah, yeah. Right? Like, I mean, um- Sure... 1:02:48 we all know we don't wanna plagiarize, but, like- Right... there are templates out there for a reason. Sure. Yeah. So I've taken templates and rewritten it in my own brand- Mm-hmm... and put in my own B-roll, right? 1:03:02 Love it. And boom. So it's okay to do that, just make it your own and make it relevant for your audience. There you go. No, I love that, I love that. Just a few more questions. We're kinda winding down here. Sure. 1:03:13 This has been great too, by the way. Yeah. This is amazing that we're able to sit together in person. I really love these versus virtual, and I know we were gonna do a virtual, but I was like, "You know what? 1:03:22 You're gonna be down in Denver." [laughs] I'm gonna be in Denver. Let's do it. This, isn't this way better? It's way better. You know, like, I'm like, I'm in person. You can touch me. You can touch my hair. 1:03:28 No, I'm just kidding. [laughs] Yeah. Can I? Sure, why not on camera? Okay. Like, do you put hairspray in it? Nothing. It's all natural, yeah. Like, it just frizzes up? It just frizzes up. 1:03:36 Like, is, there's no product in there? Especially in humidity, it'll really curl. That's why I like the dry climate here, because then it'll just go straight up. So yeah, yeah. Mm. I'll put some oil, like coconut oil. 1:03:44 But yeah- [laughs] Awesome... that's pretty much about it. Coconut oil is the best. It is the best. I love it. Yeah, and this Jam- Jambo oil too, Ja- Jojoba oil. It's crazy. 1:03:53 Yeah, it's, it's really good for your skin, your hair- Yeah... your nails and whatever, so I'll put it, um, on my hair sometimes too. Yeah, the hair is like the first thing- Mm-hmm... I noticed about you. I'm like- Yeah? 1:04:00 [laughs]... it's unforgettable hair. Oh, good. I'm glad- It's totally unforgettable... because that's, that's why I want people to tune into the podcast, so it's unforgettable, right? Yeah, I know what it is. 1:04:09 Unforgettable hair, right? Yeah, I appreciate that so much. Um- 'Cause most people wake up with hair like that, and they tame it. Yeah? No, I don't- Right?... tame it. Yeah. I, I don't know. I don't- [laughs] Untamed. 1:04:19 You're untamed. Always unta- I do comb it every day. It's important, combing your hair- No, but like-... is key, but- I like- Yes... that's your thing. Like- That's my thing, yes... 1:04:25 you have, like, untamed- I, I see you every look, e- every while, you're, like, looking above my head just to [laughs] I am. I'm like, that's why I was like, "Can I touch it?" Aw, you're so... Okay, you're so cool. 1:04:35 Um, but yeah, so tell me, um, so you, you've been in Denver this past weekend. Yeah. You've been to Achieve- Yeah... Academy. How did that go? 1:04:43 And, um, share with me a little bit about the insight about, you know, what you're gonna do to improve your business now since. Yeah, it's great. I mean, Achieve- Yeah... has been a really great community in my life. 1:04:53 It's a, a business growth organization for entrepreneurs- Mm... that expanded into Canada about two years ago, so that's how I found out about it. Nice. 1:05:00 And so as somebody that's building a business, like, one of the things I've been really focused on is surrounding myself with high-level mentors, right? If you wanna get somewhere in your business- Mm-hmm... 1:05:12 you need to surround yourself with people that are way more successful than you. Yes. So I spent the last two days, two and a half days, with very successful entrepreneurs, like seven, eight-figure earners. Wow. 1:05:24 Um, so put yourself in the energy of those people- Mm... and learn from them. So learned a lot about kind of things that I need to do, how to consistently market my business. Um, and just again, getting mentorship- Mm... 1:05:39 and having dinner and, and drinks with people that are way more successful than me, but also super humble. Mm-hmm. Right? Oh. Excuse me. That was really important. And so- Mm-hmm... 1:05:51 creating, one I, one of the things that I'm focused on is creating, um, you know, a really high-value offer for my clients. Nice. 1:06:00 Um, you know, obviously we wanna help people, but let's be honest, we're here to elevate our financial abundance as well, right? Like, that's- Yeah... important as business owners. Yeah, we wanna be sustainable. 1:06:11 Yeah, makes sense. Gotta be sustain- [laughs]... sustainable, but also how do I build- Scale, right... as a business owner, how do I scale- Mm... and how do I build multiple revenue streams? Mm. 1:06:20 Because one thing I've heard from a lot of coaches is, you know, you need to have multiple revenue streams. There's only so many hours in the day- And if you wanna maximize your impact without burning out- Mm-hmm... 1:06:36 it's about how can I add value in a really authentic way to as many people as possible. So for me, it's about creating a high-value offer- Mm... so I can serve women that are really ready to do the work. Mm. 1:06:49 Um, 'cause mindset and self-love is everything. Mm-hmm. 1:06:53 But also, how do I start to create other offers where I can scale my impact, grow my abundance, and do it in a way that I'm not burning myself out, because I only have two hands and so many hours in the day, right? 1:07:09 It's a lot. You- you- Yeah... need like a team, you know? You need, like- Yeah... people around you that are gonna support you, that are gonna do the minute stuff while you- Yeah... 1:07:16 can focus on the relationship building, you know? Yeah. The stuff that you enjoy And Achieve's great for that. I love that. There's a whole team of people that are there- Mm-hmm... 1:07:23 who have proven that they're successful, that know how to build business. Mm-hmm. So that's when we're part of the community. So yeah. Awesome. So lots to do, but I'm really excited. Oh my gosh, I'm glad. Yeah. 1:07:34 So Denver was a success. [laughs] Denver was a success. I always love coming here. Aw. I hydrated a lot. Yeah. Well, that's where we met a few months back- We met in June... at the Achieve Conference. Yeah. 1:07:43 Yeah, in June. Yeah, and that was a really great experience. It was a great- First time I've ever been to a conference like that. Yeah. And I learned a lot, so. That's good. Yeah. And met so many people, and- Yeah... 1:07:51 I still keep in touch with a lot of them. Yeah. And, um, and one of them became my client, and I'll- That's amazing... be getting him here soon-ish. 1:07:58 But yeah, it's just, it's really cool that you can connect with people that are as excited as you- Yeah... and passionate about you as your business, you know? Yeah. 1:08:07 And we can kinda build each other up, and like, um, support each other, and I think that's the biggest thing about entrepreneurship that I've learned. Yeah. It's not a solo sport, it's actually- It's not... a team sport. 1:08:16 It really is. You gotta work, you gotta- Mm-hmm... you gotta find your people and- Yeah, your community. Yeah... you can't do it alone. I mean, there's- Mm-hmm... no way that I could do it alone. Right. 1:08:26 And Achieve is really great, and has given me high-level mentors. Um- Nice... but at the same time, you know, I've learned along the way. So- Yeah... love coming here. I'll be back here in October, and- Nice... yeah. 1:08:39 I love that. I love that. It's been great. Um, is there anything that you wanna share that you haven't shared yet, that we haven't covered yet, that you wanted to talk about? No. Okay. 1:08:46 [laughs] I mean, I think we've, like, run the gamut, you know? Okay. Love yourself. Definitely. Everybody, like- Mindset. Mindset. [laughs] It starts, well, it starts with you. Yeah, for sure. 1:08:54 Like, it's nobody else's- Yeah... job to love you. Mm-hmm. You have to, what you want in other people in life, you have to give yourself first. Definitely. Definitely. That is huge. 1:09:06 And I always love to ask this question too. Uh, what is something that we can do to help support you in building your business? What can the audience do? 1:09:15 What can we do to, um, yeah, help you in your journey of entrepreneurship? Oh, I love it. That's a great question. Well, if you're on social media, follow me. [laughs] I would say that. That's great. Okay. 1:09:26 I mean, and if the content resonates with you- Yeah... share the content, right? Mm-hmm. The more eyeballs that we get on our message- Okay... um, the easier it gets. 1:09:36 Because even if it doesn't resonate with you, I think on some level, what I talk about is belonging- Mm... 1:09:43 and wanting to feel loved, and know that we're worthy and we're good enough, and I think every human being wants that. We just have different experiences. So, uh, I'm The Self Love Maven on Instagram. Give me a follow. 1:09:57 That's where I spend most of my time. Okay. So that's, I think, how you can best support. And if you, if you like the content, say hi, send me a message. Okay. I'd love to connect with you. So Instagram's the best way. 1:10:09 You can- Instagram right now is the best way, yeah. Okay, awesome. Awesome. Well, thank you again. I really appreciate your time- Thank you... and energy, um- So great... Nisha. And yeah, this has been a wrap. Awesome. 1:10:19 Been a wrap. You're so good. Thank you so much. Yeah. Oh, you're awesome. Hey, guys. I hope you enjoyed the episode. 1:10:26 If you wouldn't mind liking, subscribing, commenting, sharing, rating, reviewing, it would mean the world to me and Stella here if you did that, and it really would help support the show. 1:10:38 Thank you so much, and stay grateful. Right, Stell? Stay grateful? [laughs]
