Transcript 0:00 [upbeat music] We're gonna help get this out. 0:11 Okay, guys, it's time to get a little energy for the night, and I gotta make sure that I'm drinking some water, so we're just gonna try and bang them both out at the same time. And I'm going to be reviewing Hydro Rush. 0:25 Time to get up, start moving. Gotta reach out and grab my Crypto Rush from Hydro Rush. Let's go. We've gotta get this generator started, and we're gonna need the energy to do that and to go exploring. 0:37 Five, what's up, Sam? Give it just a taste test. All right. That rush hits me. You're not rushing. Cheers, fam. The ingredients. Okay. 0:52 You guys have magnesium in here, 66 milligrams. Sodium, sea salt, 1,000. All right, that's pretty high. 1:01 You got some potassium, keeps you nice and invigorated, keeps your bones and your joints going good, muscles from cramping up. And then creatine. 1:10 Um, a lot of people have been telling me about creatine, you know, um, very good things from, uh, from the weight training community. Yeah, let's see how this tastes. Okay. Not bad. All right, this is Hydro Rush. 1:20 [upbeat music] Thank you so much for being with me today, Shannon. Happy, happy Thursday. 1:37 How are you doing today? I am doing fantastic, and I'm so happy to be here with you today. [laughs] Me too. Me too. Again, take two. No, just kidding. Yeah. [laughs] Um, [laughs] 1:49 I'd love for you to just begin by sharing your story. I think that's where we need to go first. I feel like you want to share your story. You feel like it'll connect with tons of people out in the world. 1:59 This is one of your missions. This is your drive. This is, like, your purpose. Yeah. So I think starting with your story and then layering from there, I think that's a great way to start the, um, the conversation. 2:10 So I'll let you take it away, and you can start wherever you want, and you can say whatever you want. This is a podcast, right? So just be real. Be how- That's so cool... you ever, you know, your authentic self, right? 2:20 So take it away. Thank you, Shannon. So good. So good. Well, I wanna take you back to 2009. I was diagnosed with cancer. Um, my twins were one year old. 2:38 My husband had two broken hands at the time, and my son was diagnosed with autism when I was in the middle of chemo. And I remember 2:53 saying to my husband at the time that I wanted to go on a retreat, and I, I went on the internet, and I, I looked up this, what I thought was this amazing retreat, and it was the Callanish Society out of Vancouver. 3:07 And I remember showing it to him, and he's like, "That looks like a cult or something." [laughs] And I was like, "No, this is not a cult." [laughs] Anyways, long story short- Mm-hmm... 3:17 fast-forward, I find myself at the Callanish Society, this most amazing organization. I'm sitting in the circle, my very first retreat ever in my life, 3:31 and everybody begins to open up and share how cancer has been transforming their life and has transformed their life. And this one woman started speaking 3:45 about her childhood sexual abuse, and I was like, "Oh, my gosh." Like, "Me too." Yeah. And 3:56 I remember in that moment being like, "Oh, my gosh," like, "I'm actually not here to heal my cancer. I'm actually here to heal the wounds that caused my cancer." Because 4:11 at that moment, and then the next moment, I spoke out loud in a group setting for the first time the sexual abuse that I received at the hands of my grandfather when I was a little girl. Mm-hmm. 4:24 And I realized that keeping that a secret inside my body for all those years, I was 34 when I was diagnosed with cancer, that- Wow... 4:39 that had done me a really big disservice. And as Gabor Mate talks about, which was the very first book I read after I was diagnosed with cancer, which was the, When the Body Says No- Mm-hmm... 4:52 and it's the science behind when we have these emotional, and these traumas, and these things that we keep inside of our bodies, and we, we don't share, and they're secrets, they can manifest into these physical ailments. 5:09 And so here I was at 34, and literally my, my world was literally falling apart. Like, everything, everywhere I looked, everything was coming undone. My son was sick. My husband had broken hands. I had s- cancer. 5:27 Like, it felt like everything was falling apart. And, you know, I remember sitting at the table, u- um, this one moment, and, you know, I had no hair. 5:45 I'd just finished- Wow... the most grueling chemo treatment. Wow. And this woman, Jennifer, was sitting across the table from me, and she was 5:53 this woman that had been supporting my kids for the last year because they were only four pounds when they were born, and she'd been watching their development. And- 6:04 I remember her looking at me, and she just started to cry. Hmm. And I remember thinking like, "Oh, my God," like, "What's going on?" And she just was like, "Shannon, I'm, I'm pretty sure Nolan has autism." And, 6:21 you know, those are those moments where I remember my aunt saying to me in one of my emails, she said, "You know, Shannon, God doesn't give you more than you can handle." 6:30 But in that moment, I was just like, "I don't know. [laughs] I don't know. I feel like I can't handle anymore." Like, "This is, this is enough." Like, I... 6:42 And so many people have said to me, like, "How do you get through with all of this?" And I think in those moments, you, you really don't have a choice. 6:55 Like, there's this resilience, and you have two young children, and all I knew is that I wanted to live. Hmm. I wanted to live. Wow. And this was how far ago? How back? 7:13 I was... So my twins were one, and they are 18 now. Wow. Okay, so several years ago that you had this, like, awakening, this, like, rude... A- and it was all from this, uh, retreat that you went to. Yeah. Yeah. 7:30 This retreat changed everything for you. Well, it was definitely the start of everything. The start. I have had many awakenings [laughs] since then. Oh, sure. Sure. Sure. 7:40 [laughs] But that was, like, the, the most rude awakening you could say maybe. I would say definitely one of the most rude awakenings, for sure. Mm-hmm. 7:49 Um, you know, I've, I've had the opportunity in my life to have several of these rude awakenings. Um, but yeah, that was definitely the start. 8:02 And it's interesting because, you know, a lot of people, a- and I hope this lands i- in a way that people can really understand what I say. Mm-hmm. 8:15 But I used to be, when I heard people were sick or diagnosed with cancer or th- you know, for example, my ex-husband broke his back, like, all these things that happen which I used to believe to us, 8:30 I really believe that these things happen for us. Because the cancer forced me to slow down, to stop actually- Hmm... and to look within. 8:44 Like, I would never have had the opportunity or taken the opportunity to be quiet and sit in a circle and reflect and go deep and start learning about meditation, connect with a coach. 9:00 Like, all the things and all the opportunities that I had, that cancer brought me. And you know, when we're in it and when we're initially diagnosed or something, like, really hard happens, I used to 9:19 be like, "Oh, my gosh, that's terrible." And now, I hate to say it, but it's almost like these things are happening for us, and it's permission to go within. It's permission to slow down. 9:34 It's permission to look at the things that we're running from because so many of us are running. And I can say that out loud because I spent most of my life running. Hmm. 9:47 Running from all the trauma, all the things, running from myself. Running from the trauma, the things that I just didn't wanna look at, I didn't wanna deal with. 10:00 Because if I slowed down, or if I stopped drinking, or if I [laughs] stopped all the things that I used for distraction- Mm-hmm... then I actually had to be with myself. Hmm. And then I had to be with my feelings. 10:15 And so many of us, and this is back to what Gabor Mate was talking about, we suppress the feelings. Right. But what if we could actually be okay with the hard feelings, we could be okay with 10:28 the discomfort, we could be okay with the anger, the frustration, all of the things? 10:34 Because so many of us have got this Disneyland, Walt Disney, everything's supposed to be happy and cheery, and you meet the perfect partner, and you get married and things are ever after and blah, blah, blah, 10:46 but that's not reality. Mm-hmm. Life is the ebbs and flows. Mm-hmm. I mean, look at nature. Look at the seasons. We ebb, we flow. W- Things transition. The, the leaves fall off the trees. Things die. 11:04 But I know every single hard thing that I've had the opportunity to go through in my life has brought me wisdom, has brought me more understanding of who I am. 11:21 But the thing that I think most of, it's softened me. Hmm. You know? So many of us go around, and I can o- I can't speak for everybody else, but I know for myself 11:36 that I used to point the finger at everybody else and blame everybody else. And I used to be this person that didn't necessarily have a lot of compassion. But when we go through these hard things, 11:51 whether it's cancer or supporting our son through autism or homeschooling or, uh, m- the divorce that I just went through in the last two and a half years, 12:02 all of a sudden you have these experiences, and you don't know until you know. You know, it's just like having kids, you know? You can pretend what it's like to have kids- Mm-hmm... but you don't know until you know. 12:17 And I'll say the hardest thing that I've ever done hands down is be a mother. Mm-hmm. There is no, there is no book. 12:25 [laughs] There's, there's, there's no, there's no manuscript, and every child is so different and so unique. And even going through the divorce, I remember 12:41 after the divorce being like, "Oh my gosh, every person that I've heard tell me that they've been through a divorce, I literally wanna go find them and give them the most ginormous hug." [laughs] Wow. 12:53 Because you don't know until you know. Mm-hmm. You, you can imagine what it's like to go through these hard things. So having the opportunity 13:06 to go through a lot of really difficult things in my life has shown me a lot of compassion and softened me in ways I never thought was possible. 13:23 You went through so much already, Shanon. I have so many follow-ups, but more than anything, I really resonate with what you're saying about your divorce. I've been divorced since 2020, and that was still a process. 13:37 I still catch myself from time to time, it's already 2026, and I'm like, I've moved on, but there's like little things sometimes that kinda just get you that you always used to done with her, with him, whatever. 13:48 And so it's like coming to that awareness. And granted, I was married to this woman for almost a decade, right? 13:57 Fresh out of college, and then during COVID, a lot of, you know, a lot of relationships broke during COVID unfortunately. Mm-hmm. Mine, mine was no different. But it's, it's that 14:09 feeling like I'm not myself with this person anymore. We've grown. We've grown up- Mm-hmm... 14:15 and we need to move on, and we need to take that next step, that next chapter, our new, our next new beginning, right, in a lot of ways. 14:23 Um, because I feel like especially now, we transition and we go through different stages in our life more so than I would say the past generations too. We have to- Mm-hmm... 14:34 almost, if you think about it, with technology, with where we're at in this crazy, crazy world, especially when it comes to relationships. And I know more than anything, it's really, really hard to reconnect with people. 14:48 Again, I know that's one of the things you do as a coach, and you try to do with how you're just working with your pain, but also how vulnerable you are and how you wanna bring others together in a very meaningful and intentional way. 15:02 And referencing your TED Talk, which was very powerful by the way, like I was very blown away by how intentional you were with every single word had a place- Mm... in a space. 15:16 So, and I'm sure you've heard the phrase, you know, everything in its place, and there's a place for everything. So I'm a big believer in 15:24 you sharing your story to just lay that foundation, because a lot of people have that same narrative that we tell ourselves when we show up for ourselves every single day. 15:37 And especially that TED Talk, I wanna go back to that real quick actually before- [laughs]... I move on to other things, because I feel like that's really important. So where did that- Yeah... come from? 15:45 Because usually how it works is they, they seek you out, right? You don't seek them. And they're like, and, and like, "Oh my gosh, we loved your story. We saw it on the Moth hour. We heard about her." 15:55 I don't know, like, how did you get introduced, I guess? I, I'd love to hear like, I guess, the BTS of the actual story, but yeah. Please. Thank you. How I got on the TEDx stage? Yeah, sure. A whole lot of tenacity. 16:09 [laughs] Yeah? Yeah. Literally, I heard about it. So there is- Mm... this epic school here on Vancouver Island, uh, Brentwood Bay College School. Mm. 16:21 It is, uh, just, just the property itself is on 10 acres of walkout waterfront. It is just incredible. And I heard about this TED, um... They do TEDx talks there and once a year. Mm. 16:35 And I reached out to the organizer, and I just said, "I wanna be on the TEDx stage." And- Wow... literally, I, next thing you know, I connected with an old friend of mine who has also done a TEDx. 16:48 He ended up becoming my TEDx coach. We put together my TEDx writeup and what I would say, answering all the questions. And then I got in my car and I drove my questions out to the guy that organizes the whole event. 17:03 And I spoke to him personally. I brought- Wow... my son with me. Wow. I said, "I wanna be on this stage. Here's my TEDx questions." And then I continued to email him once a month, "I can't wait to be on that stage." 17:18 And then finally in June when it actually opened up to the public, he sent me an email. He said, "Shannon, it's gone live. You can apply online now." 17:27 So I applied online, and then I just kept reaching out saying, "I can't wait to be on that stage." And then I remember at the end of August, I was pulling out of my coach's driveway and the phone rang. 17:39 And I picked up the phone, and Ian, the organizer of this TEDx at Brentwood Bay, said, "Shannon, let's do this. I wanna have you on the stage." And I was like, "Oh my God." And that was it. 17:52 Like, literally, I did not take no for an answer. I was so determined. I drove out there. I let him know over and over. And then I end up hiring two incredible TEDx coaches. Mm. And 18:07 I literally, my s- TEDx almost has 136,000 views now. Amazing. It's like literally- Incredible Incr- it is, and I'm just a local Comox Valley girl that has a really big story that- Mm-hmm... I wanna share. Yeah. 18:25 And literally was a stay-at-home mom for 17 years, supporting my kids through their journey. My son on the spectrum, my daughter with severe anxiety. I homeschooled them, like I said, for seven years, and I was... 18:39 I wasn't stepping, I wasn't doing anything, and then all of a sudden I find myself, my husband wants a divorce, I'm packing up my house- [laughs]... and I'm literally practicing my TEDx while I'm packing my home. 18:54 Like, everything was happening at once. Like, my world was falling apart, my heart felt like it was in a million fucking pieces, and I was about to get on the TEDx stage. Like, talk about being split open in every way. 19:11 Like, scare- like, I... And it was the first public speaking gig I've ever done. [laughs] I was gonna ask. Yeah. Wow. Very first one. So- The very first one- That's incredible... a TEDx stage. Like- That's incredible... 19:24 are you freaking kidding me? [laughs] That's crazy. How much did you practice before giving the speech? Like, hours, and hours, and hours. Same, same. At the end of my street- Over and over. Oh... oh my gosh. Yeah. 19:38 There was this park at the end of my street, and I, I swear, I, I did indentations in the path of the amount of times that I walked around that path, repeating it over, and over, and over. 19:53 But you know, I showed up on that stage and I felt so confident, so confident, and I, I know that it came out in my TEDx. Like, I felt so good. I got up on the stage and I just knocked it off. 20:07 It was just felt so freaking good. Yeah. 20:10 No, I can, I can tell by your courage you had, and I can tell by the confidence you had as well with speaking up there, and hearing your TED Talk, and how, yeah, just how real you were. Mm. Still are, actually. 20:25 Were, are, both. [laughs] Yeah. Obviously. You're still here. Sorry, not to- Yes. Yeah, you're good. 20:31 But, uh, it's just so inspiring, and I really appreciate you sharing that story because I think for anyone, literally anyone, they can do what you did. Yeah. It just takes tenacity, drive- Yeah... 20:41 a commitment, and, you know, just going that extra mile, being consistent. 20:46 Like, that's a good consistency story too, if you really think about it, because you really don't get anywhere if you don't have that consistency. Also, I have, I have two stories- Sure. Go for it... 20:55 when you mention consistency. Love it. Oh, take it away. [laughs] Well, well, first thing that I wanna say out loud- Mm-hmm... is back to what you said about you really can do anything. Mm-hmm. 21:06 And part of that is believing that you can. Okay. And so I literally, before I was told that I was gonna be on the TEDx stage, I remember standing in my bathroom curling my hair, and I would get these, like, 21:24 like, this feeling in my body where I would giggle out loud. Mm. And I would be, like, thanking everybody on the stage for allowing me to be there. 21:35 Like, I, I saw myself on the stage, I felt myself being on the stage, I was giggling about me. Like, I just knew- Mm... I was gonna be on that stage. So cool. 21:48 And even with this big event that I have coming up, I, oh, we, we, I, we can go back to this later, but- Yes, yes... 21:55 there is this th- uh, three international speakers flying into the Comox Valley to speak on stage with me, including Danielle LaPorte, and it literally is insane. Insane. 22:08 And yet again, I visualized it and I said, "I know she's gonna be on the stage with me," and you know why? Hmm. 22:15 Because the same feeling that I had in my body when I was giggling when I was curling my hair in the bathroom is the same feeling that I feel now. 22:24 And it's just, like, you, you have to feel it, believe it, and then embody it, and then just watch the magic unfold. Literally watch the magic unfold. And then back to what you said about consistency. Mm-hmm. 22:41 So I wanna take you back four years. Okay. And I, I w- I had this dream of sharing my heart, speaking my truth, 22:55 and yet I was an absolute perfectionist and scared to say the wrong thing. Hmm. That's a lot of people. And so I decided to go onto my Facebook page and I created what we call Toolbox Tuesday, 23:13 and this week was episode 213, four years later, and I remember coming onto Facebook Live being like, "Hi. I don't know if I'm live." And I'm, like, all uncomfortable. "Can you hear me?" 23:31 Like, it was like I go back and I watch and I'm like, "Oh my gosh." Cringe. Cringe. That is insane. And- [laughs]... we don't- Yeah... we, we have to start. Gotta start somewhere. We have to fucking start. Mm. 23:48 And, like, where I am now, like, I'm in magazines, I'm speaking on podcasts all over the world. I, I'm- Yeah... like, I have three international speakers flying in. Four years ago, I was coming on Facebook Live and 24:02 petrified. Mm. Petrified. And you know what? We just have to go out and we just have to do it anyways. 24:10 And this is a lot about what I talk on, on my TED, uh, my TEDx, is that the gift of failure, how discomfort shapes success. 24:19 Yesterday there was so much anxiety in my body, I literally felt like it was coming out of my mouth. And it was the discomfort of actually moving towards these really big things that I'm doing. Mm-hmm. 24:35 It's super uncomfortable. Yeah. But instead, the old version of me would've picked up a drink, picked up a glass of wine. Yeah. I would've cleaned my entire house. I would've avoided the feeling as, as much as possible. 24:52 Okay. But instead, instead my girlfriend came over, we put on music, we danced in my kitchen. I sat here in front of my computer, and I'll just say out loud, technology is not my gig. 25:07 It's just not yet, it's not my gig yet. You're getting there. You're getting there. You're learning. And I sat in front of this computer with my girlfriend sitting beside me, who's really good with computers- Mm... 25:19 as I literally bawled my eyes out. And w- we, but we can do it. Mm. And at the end of the session, I had created all my posters, and all my flyers had been sent to the printer, and everything was done. 25:37 I did ask for support, and that's another thing that I love to talk about is asking for help. Mm. We'll talk about that. Because we're not meant to do this alone. Mm-hmm. 25:50 But yeah, consistency and showing up and believing in yourself and letting go of perfectionism and doing it anyways, just do it. Mm-hmm. I love that. It's the act of. 26:07 You can think all day about what you wanna do, but action has to manifest- Yes... in order for anything to happen. [laughs] Anything. It's so funny. Right? It's so funny, and it's not that complicated. 26:21 It's really simple. But a lot of people, they just... Is it procrastination? What do you think it is? It's procrastination. Mm-hmm. Perfectionism. Perfectionism. Two P's. Let's see if we can get a third one. [laughs] Oh. 26:36 [laughs] Make an acronym out of this. [laughs] Oh, right? Oh, I'm like, now you got me on the spot. Ooh. I know. [laughs] What, what's really showing up to me is this fear of failure. Ooh. Okay. Fear of failure. 26:48 It's the fear of failure. Okay. And I talk about this too, like- Mm... you know, oh, my goodness. [laughs] We're meant to fail, though. You know that, right? Obviously We are- Okay... meant to fail. Yes. We are. 27:02 But, you know, w- okay, one of the things- Mm... that I've learned as a mother- Mm-hmm... so I th- I, as a mother, I thought I brought my children into the world and I was gonna teach them everything that I know. 27:18 That's what mo- most mothers do, right? Right? In fact, that's a, that's a thing, right? It is a thing. [laughs] And you swumble, you swallow a whole bunch of humble pie- Mm-hmm... because actually 27:30 my kids have taught me more than I will ever teach them. Wow. Hands down. Hands down. That's cool. That's really cool. Very cool. So found myself in a moment- Mm... 27:44 where I really actually didn't wanna be on the planet anymore. Oh, my gosh. Really? There so much was unfolding in my house. There was just so much stuff going on. Yeah. And 28:01 I just didn't know that I could d- I could sustain holding my family together anymore. And luckily I had reached out to a girlfriend that I had met, and she- Mm... uh, does medicine journeys. 28:18 And so I reached out to her, and I was really afraid to do this medicine journey. But at this point I was like, "I, I don't really feel like I have a choice. Like I'm-" Mm. "... I'm, I'm kind of at rock bottom here." 28:33 Wow. And I remember taking the medicine. We started the journey around like 8:00 at night and into the wee hours of 5:00 AM in the morning, and I remember waking up, 28:49 or not waking up, but having this moment where- Mm... I was like, oh, my gosh, all the anxiety and all of the fear and all of the things that I have been blaming my kids for 29:06 is actually mine. Mm. And that my kids were just mirroring back my anxiety, my fear. And this really showed up for me when I was... 29:21 Th- that moment where, and I, I talk about it also in my TED Talk, where my son is like quitting all his subjects. He's, he's, he doesn't even wanna try anymore. He's really, um, 29:35 everything needs to be perfect, and if he can't do it perfectly, he's not even gonna try. So I end up booking... I'm devastated. I d- I don't know like how I can support him. So my- Mm-hmm... 29:46 my, his tutor, my ex-husband, and me w- all went into a counseling session thinking I'm gonna be able to support my son through this, you know, letting go of being so perfect. 29:57 And literally five minutes into that counseling session I realize that the counseling session isn't for my son. It's actually for me. Wow. Because kids don't do as you say, they do as they see. Mm. 30:15 And so I realize that I've literally been modeling a whole lot of anxiety, a whole lot of fear, a whole lot of perfectionism, all the things. Mm-hmm. And they are sponges. And so 30:33 the most amazing thing about coming out of this divorce and on the other side of all of this deep dive into learning who I am 30:47 is letting go of the perfectionism, letting go of needing to know. S- and if, if there was one thing that I took away from my TEDx coach, she said, "Shannon, it's okay to not know." Mm. 31:02 And so, and that's the other part of fear of failure, right? We- Mm-hmm... we wanna know. And so my whole life, 31:12 because of my experience through sexual abuse and trauma and all the different things that I went through, I ended up using control as my mechanism to keep myself safe. Mm. 31:28 And when I need to control everything around me, not only is it exhausting for me, it's exhausting for anyone that needs to be around me. Wow. And so it's just literally been 31:46 so many humbling moments of opportunities to see how I show up in this world, but also with a lot of compassion for myself because 32:00 if we can be compassionate with why we were doing the things that we used to do because they were just our prope- protection mechanisms that were keeping us safe, then all of a sudden we can look at that 32:17 little girl version of ourselves with these really soft, empathetic, compassionate eyes and be, "You know what? We're just doing the best that we can with the tools that we have, 32:30 and when we know better, we can do better." Because I used to beat myself up as a mother being, "Man, I wish I coulda did this. I wish I did that. I wish I did this." And you know what? I didn't know better at that time. 32:44 So now that I know better, I do better, and I tell my kids I love them every day, and I show them. And actually, also another thing that I've learned is 32:57 when I actually show myself love and I turn my focus to me and do these incredible things instead of doing everything for everybody else, my kids are watching that too. 33:12 And they're like, "Oh, wow, Mom's doing all these super cool things now." Mm-hmm. "Mom's not just at home stuck in her trauma spinning her wheels in fear and in anxiety. 33:24 She's actually being really brave," which is my theme, brave enough. And that's, that's really it. Mm-hmm. It's not about necessarily being brave. It's about being brave enough. Mm-hmm. 33:41 Like, it's okay to make the mistake. It's okay that we fail. It's okay that we're not the perfect parent because who the heck is perfect? And you know what? I, I don't know. 33:54 When you look on Instagram and social media and all the things, I'm not attracted to the people that look perfect. Mm. I'm attracted to the people that are vulnerable and willing to say, "I fucked up." Mm. 34:08 "I did this wrong." Mm. And it's okay because it makes them more relatable, to me at least. Yeah. Because- I agree... we are human. Mm-hmm. We're constantly making mistakes, and it's okay. 34:26 You know, I don't know about you, but I, I was raised in a house where you were, like, everything was to be... 34:31 I mean, gosh, I can't even tell you how many times I scrubbed those silver spoons for every family member that needed to come over and see the silver spoons perfectly shined. Exhausting. I love you, Mom and Dad. 34:44 [laughs] Oh my God. But seriously- Wow. Mm-hmm... the best thing about being on my own space in my own condo is if I don't wanna wash the freaking dishes, I don't. No. It doesn't need to be perfect. 35:00 Yeah, the thing called the dishwasher. Totally. Yeah. It's so good. [laughs] Modern conveniences. And I was gonna go back to your perfectionism speech. Seriously, there, there's no s- such thing as perfectionism. 35:14 You, you can't be perfect, and why should we even try? And that's not even the whole point of life. 35:19 A lot of people don't even realize that until later, much later in life too, they do become aware of like, "Oh, okay, I don't have to be perfect. 35:27 I just gotta do the thing, and I just do things I enjoy doing, uh, with the people I enjoy hanging around with the most," and creating a sense of just clarity within your own life and have that awareness of, "What do I desire? 35:44 What brings me joy?" And that's kinda the next thing that I wanna go into because you're a big joy, um, I, I guess fun joy. I, I don't... 35:54 Just, uh, your, your profile, well, you as a human being too speaks volumes when it comes to joy. So I'd love to hear more about your strategies when it comes to finding joy because sometimes it ain't easy, right? 36:08 Like, let's be real. No. Life is hard. Reality is hard. So finding joy in the every day is something that I really found, um, online and also just meeting you, the past interaction. So why... 36:20 Yeah, just share a little bit about some strategies you find joy and how you have... How did you find joy to begin with, I guess, and how do you continue on showing up and being, uh, the joyful person you are? Mm-hmm. 36:31 Oh, such a good question. Yeah, I call myself a joy bringer. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That is what I title myself. And [laughs] That is a, a really incredible question. So- Thank you... 36:48 one of the things, I know, and Brene Brown talks about this a lot, she says, "Joy is the most vulnerable human emotion there is." Mm-hmm. 36:58 And that's because so many of us have experienced so much trauma in the past in our lives, and we turn towards what we know. And if we know trauma and we know abuse and we know all these things, that feels comfortable, 37:17 and joy doesn't. Mm-hmm. Because what if it gets stripped away? What if it's not sustainable? What if, what if it gets taken away? 37:28 And it's, it's almost like it's unconscious because it is unconscious, because we turn to what we know. And just recently, I 37:41 had a girlfriend send me an Instagram reel, and my goodness, it stopped me in my tracks. And this woman was literally- [laughs]... standing in her corn patch, a farmer. Mm-hmm. 37:54 And she said, "Joy is the fruit of well-lived grief." And I was like- Mm-hmm... that is it. That is it. And it goes back to what I said earlier. I can actually feel some emotion coming up as I say that. 38:12 Wow. You know, we've been given this bullshit that life is supposed to be happy all the time. Mm-hmm. And it's not the truth. 38:24 We, we do have these ebbs and flows, but when we know grief, when we know the hard things and we're not afraid to be in the hard, 38:35 we also get the opportunity to experience joy that we actually can't even fathom. 38:43 Like, the joy that I feel in my life now is literally blowing me away, but that's because I've also been to the depths of the depths, and I've allowed myself to feel the really hard feelings, the grief, the sadness, the sorrow, the, 39:04 all of the hard feelings. Because when we suppress those hard feelings, we also suppress our joy. And so what if we could allow all the feelings to be present? And it doesn't mean we sit in the grief all day long. 39:22 There's days where I, I wake up and I just literally go on Spotify and I type in grief music. Hmm. And I sit on the couch. I allow myself to, like, literally cry it out for, like, 10, 15 minutes, and it clears. Mm-hmm. 39:38 And it's done, and I'm reset. And you can't see my kitchen right now, but I have this huge open space here. Mm-hmm. I've got a mini trampoline. I have a great space for my dancing, and I- Wow... dance it out. Nice. I... 39:52 One of the ways I move my emotions. Mm-hmm. 39:55 And whether I'm dancing through joy or whether I'm dancing through sadness or grief or somebody hurt me, but my yoga instructor talks about this quite often, and she calls it shaking out the nails. Mm-hmm. 40:09 And so if you know, we are scientifically 99.9999% energy. Right. So if you know that we're energy, when we are moving, we are literally shaking out the energy. Mm-hmm. 40:23 And it's, I almost imagine it like the negative things, like, flowing off the end of my fingers. 40:28 And so when I'm dancing or when I'm on the trampoline and I shake out the nails, like the things that people said to me, the things that- Mm-hmm... 40:35 hurt me, the, the divorce, like, all of the things, you're shaking it out. And moving our bodies, like, whatever that looks like for you. Maybe dancing doesn't feel comfortable. 40:46 Maybe jumping on a trampoline isn't accessible to you. But maybe you need to go for a walk. Maybe you go to the gym. Maybe you go for a run. May- whatever that is to move that energy- Mm-hmm... 41:00 you know, that is a huge part of my connection to joy, is giving all of the other emotions attention too. 41:12 Because when I suppress those negative emotions, then I'm also not giving space for myself to feel all of the amazing things coming in. And so a lot of, a big part of that is also my journaling practice. 41:26 I- in the evening, I write out what I'm grateful for. Mm-hmm. And my favorite one is how good could it go? Then literally write out the words, "How good could it go?" And then I, like, I... 41:37 Well, for example, I, I could call in, uh, Danielle LaPorte to be speaking on stage with me. I could have the, uh, sellout every single ticket for this event. I could, I could. 41:48 And we just call in all these amazing things. So joy is a choice. Mm-hmm. We can choose to sit in the sadness, all of the grief, 42:07 or we can get up and choose to move that out because it's just literally, like, every emotion is l- I think it's scientifically said it's, like, 90 seconds long. 42:19 If we just give it space to move, then we can transition back into feeling more regulated. And that's been a huge part for me, is giving myself, my, my body permission to regulate. 42:35 Whether it's a quick breathing practice, four-square breathing, whatever that is, whatever that looks like for you. But joy is absolutely a choice. 42:47 And so it's not about making all of the things that happened in my past wrong. 42:53 All of the things that I had the opportunity to go through, whether it was the cancer or the autism, you know, the divorce, all of the things, they're just the beautiful soil that the joy grows in. Mm. I love that. So 43:12 my take on what you just said was the only reason you have as much joy as you have is because you went through hard things, and you came out the other end, and you found joy. 43:26 And I think everybody that is human goes through hard things. Everyone. We're human. And it's, it's so interesting. So 43:39 I start every single one of my coaching practices with three things that you are celebrating, 43:47 and the reason I do that is because when we focus on what is good and what is, what, what is good going on in our life, we create more neural pathways towards that good. But when we focus on what isn't working, 44:03 we create more neural pathways towards that. I feel like you froze for a moment. Can you hear me? I don't know what happened. 44:21 Can you hear me? Oh. 45:23 Shannon. What's going on? I have no idea. Can you hear me? Yes, I can. Oh my gosh, that scared me so much. Apparently my, the Wi-Fi router just stopped working. Imagine. 45:41 Imagine. Well, here we are. We're back. We're back. Nothing's stopping us. No. [laughs] Seriously. You're now on hotspot. Believe it or not, my hotspot is stronger than the Wi-Fi that just went out. 45:57 What the- So apparently, you know, Comcast sucks. So we're gonna keep moving on though. Um, my response, and then I had a follow-up question about your up and coming. 46:11 Um, you're hosting your first ever, or solo convention, and I want to hear more about that. 46:17 As much as, um, I'm sure this part really brings you joy, um, and I'd, I'd love to hear, uh, I guess a little more about your background on doing conventions because you told me a little bit earlier how you, uh, were able to try or attempt, have an attempt with two other women. 46:35 Didn't work out. That's cool. You know, reality hits, and we pick up the pieces. Sometimes we fail, but we get back up, right? We, we- Mm... we do the hard things, and we do things that we're passionate about. 46:44 And I feel like you hosting your first solo convention is a big stepping stone, a big milestone for you over the many, many years that you have been building yourself up. Yeah. 46:59 And so just share with me a little bit about what's going on and maybe some ways that we can support you. Thank you. So good. Thank you so much. This is actually such a big moment for me. 47:12 So I have three international speakers, including Deidre Sirianni, Danielle Laporte, and Carol Scholz all flying in, um, to speak on stage with me here in the Comox Valley on Vancouver Island. 47:27 And becau- why this is such a big moment for me is because my whole life I've literally been all about bringing people together. 47:38 When I grew up in a, in a home where my parents always had these big Christmas parties, and we had-- we were very fortunate to have a nice pool in the backyard, and we always had big summer events. 47:50 And when I was 18 years old, I hosted my first formal Christmas party, and I have not stopped hosting parties since then. Uh, this year I will be turning fif- 53. Oh my goodness. Um- You do not look like you're 53. 48:06 I'm sorry. [laughs] You're lying. You're lying. I am. Like 43 maybe, but- Yeah. Okay... wow. Yeah, so- Continue... I know. Incredible, right? Mm-hmm. And so I-- 48:16 this is my favorite thing in the absolute world to do, is to- Mm... bring people together. Mm-hmm. 48:21 And not only do I get the opportunity to bring people together, I get the opportunity to share my story with three incredible women in a room full of incredible humans. And- Mm... could not make me more happy. 48:37 Like [laughs] I just, it just brings me so much joy. So this is the first inaugural Brave Enough event. Mm. I already ha- am visioning who is gonna be on my stage next year. Oh. And I'm calling in Gabba Mate. 48:52 So I'm just putting that out to the universe. Uh, he actually lives just one island, uh, on, on an island just off of Vancouver Island, so- So convenient... I'm gonna put, put that out to the universe. Easy. Easy. 49:04 So easy, right? [laughs] Yeah. So this is- Well done... my first, first, uh, inaugural event and, um, I've got my Brave Enough to Be Yourself, um, program coming up, a eight-week women program. 49:18 Uh, I do one-on-one coaching. There's just so many incredible things that are going on behind the scenes right now, and then in October I start my book. Or no, sorry, November. I'm writing my book starting November. 49:30 Soon as the event is over, I'm starting my book called Brave Enough. Wow. Mm-hmm. Is that gonna be based off your experience of running the convention, or basically a lot of things is gonna be in that book? 49:41 The Brave Enough book- Mm-hmm... is going to be my life. It's gonna be all- Oh... about my journey through this life, and how... Yeah. Just all my- Wow... experiences. 49:54 So I'm super excited to be putting pen to paper and getting this all happening. So yeah, it feels really exciting. 50:02 I've got, um, a lot of sponsors stepping up to the plate to help me out with this event, and it's just so good to have community come together for something so great. I... And you know what's even more amazing? Hmm? 50:18 Is my kids are gonna be there. Yeah. That's amazing. Wow. So good, right? So good, Shannon. I am so... That's such a blessing, seriously- Yeah... having your kids come. So, oh my gosh. So how, how are tickets going? 50:34 Like- So- And when- what's the event again? At the end of the year? So, uh, October 30th. Okay. It's before Christmas. And tickets, uh, went on sale two days ago. Okay. 50:42 And, like, literally, th- [laughs] I can't believe how many tickets I've already sold. Awesome. So there's only 120 tickets available. Oh, wow. Small. 50:50 And yeah, the resort that it's held at is Crown Isle, and there are spaces there that you can stay right on site. Okay. 50:59 So if anybody's feeling like flying in from the States or across the world, 'cause I do, my speakers are flying in from- Yeah... all over, so. Amazing. Come. Come. It's gonna be awesome. Yeah, it sounds like it. And, um, 51:14 besides the book, besides the convention, what else are you working on? You said that you're a coach as well? Yeah. I am. 51:20 I coach one-on-one, and I also have a program called Brave Enough to Be Yourself, and that will be starting at the beginning of November, and it's an eight-week program about diving into authenticity- Hmm... 51:32 boundaries, and my, one of my favorite conversations that we didn't get to today, but that- Hmm... 51:38 literally everyone is our mirror, and that when triggers show up for us, it's an opportunity for us to pause and look within, and know that there's maybe a little part of us that needs a little bit of attention. 51:51 'Cause I used to point the finger at everybody else when I was triggered, until I realized that there was three fingers pointing back at me. Hmm. And that's a game changer. 52:02 When we can pause and take radical self-responsibility for our own lives, it changes everything. Do you mind touching just a little bit about that? We've got a few minutes left. Yeah. 52:18 Th- that was a b- big game changer for me, because I, like I said before, when I had that moment coming out of that, um, medicine journey where I literally was blaming my kids and everybody else for... 52:33 'C- 'cause I was stuck in victim. I was- Mm-hmm... everything was happening to me. Everything was happening to me. And my self-worth was all stemmed around my out- my exterior. Mm-hmm. 52:50 What people said, what I did, um, what... how I could perform, um, how much I could accomplish in a day, until I paused and had this opportunity to really reflect and know that 53:08 the only thing that matters is in here, and that my external world is only a reflection of what's going on in here. Hmm. 53:21 So when I pause and I take that time to do my own inner work, that's how we change the world. We don't change the world by, sorry to say, watching the news every day and making ourself depressed. 53:38 We change the world by doing our own inner work, and then that ripples out from there. Because I tell you, when I walk down the street, I make eye contact with every person that I can, and I smile at them, and I know 53:55 that that makes a difference in everybody's day. Just that little thing. 54:01 So when I'm in a good mood and I take care of me, and I'm emanating joy, and I'm emanating all this great positive energy, that flows and ripples out from me and then touches all the people around me. 54:17 So we don't change the world by the stuff outside. We change the world right here, one person at a time. Hmm. So be brave enough to choose joy, because on the other side is a world full of joy. 54:35 Hmm. I love that. That's beautiful, and yeah, it really does start with self. Yeah. It really does. You gotta, you gotta do the work, that inner self work, that awareness build. It doesn't... It's not an overnight thing. 54:50 It takes time. Oh, yeah. Takes years. Yes, it does. Years of self-reflection. Years of just coming to terms of who you really are, who you really want to become, who you want to show up- For others. 55:04 That's how you show up for yourself every single day. Yeah. Had a lot of fun, today's conversation. Mm-hmm. You're such a joy, Shannon, to have on the show. I really appreciate you so much. 55:16 Is there anything else that you wanted to share with us that you didn't share, uh, that you'd like to? Or did I cover- No... most things you wanted to cover? Just wanna make sure. Yeah. 55:26 I, I think you covered pretty much everything. Mm-hmm. If, if I could say one more thing, it's don't be afraid to ask for help. Mm-hmm. Because we're not meant to do this alone. You know? We, we aren't. 55:44 We're not meant to do this alone. We're not... I, I was raised in a house where you were to be independent and do it all yourself, but you know what? 55:53 My TEDx coach did this thing on stage one day where he asked everybody- Yes. [laughs] "How many of you like to help your friends?" And like everybody put their hand up. Mm-hmm. 56:04 And then he said, "And how many of you like to ask for help?" Hmm. Nobody puts their hand up. Wow. 56:13 And it's just like, but wait a minute, if we all know that we like to help our friends and we like to help our family, then why are we not brave enough to ask for help? Hmm. 56:23 And so there's just something so beautiful there because even in planning this incredible event that I'm putting on, I don't wanna do this alone- Right... 56:33 because it's gonna be way better when I pull in some amazing humans to help me make this what it is meant to be. Mm-hmm. And so that's what I'm doing this afternoon. I'm going to Crown Island. 56:45 I'm meeting some incredible humans that are gonna make me, make this event even more amazing. I love that. That- Yeah... that brings me so much joy. Yeah. 56:56 Me hearing you share your story and sharing your vision for the future. I think that's really great, and it's inspiring. It really is. More people need to find their inner joy- Mm-hmm... 57:07 like you're doing right now, actually, and you're creating this beautiful, beautiful story that is your own. Yeah. And that is a true testament of how far you've come, Shannon. So yeah. 57:20 And then one more note I was gonna say about seeking help, um, I think there's this societal stigma that goes around, especially in America, I find. We're so individualistic. We can do everything ourselves. Hmm. 57:36 And I think we grew up with this mentality too. Mm-hmm. So it's, it's really hard to break this mold that seems like society weighs on us. Mm-hmm. 57:46 And I think that's a big reason why we do not ask for help, but I've noticed since doing this entrepreneur journey of my own, New Beginning story, even with this podcast and the agency that I work with others with, it's just like 58:02 you need help. [laughs] Yeah. Yeah. You need so much help. You cannot- Yeah... do it all yourself. And it's so much better when we do it together. Right? It like- I mean-... even with AI, right? I know. 58:14 Just like it can help you a little bit, but you still gotta do the work. Like, come on. Yeah. Like, you can't do everything. I don't know. 58:21 I'm just like I'm really blown away by how much you really need to work on your coordination skills. You really need to work on your people skills. Or you really need to work on your communication skills. 58:31 So it's just like finding that inner joy to actually, um, show up for people- [laughs]... I think is the biggest, definitely one of the biggest takeaways I've had from this conversation. 58:44 Uh, where can people find you- Uh-huh... if they want to connect with you and have more joy in their life? Oh, my goodness. So on all socials. Okay. So you can find me on Facebook, Instagram. You can find me on LinkedIn. 58:57 You can find my Toolbox Tuesdays on YouTube. Uh, you can also find me at shannondonahuesimpson.com, which is my website. And yeah, I would love for you to reach out, connect with me. I- I'm happy to chat with you. 59:12 Awesome. And that's under your name, right? The full name? Yep. Yep. Okay. Shannondonahuesimpson.com. Yep. I love that. All right. Well, thank you so much for your time again, Shannon. 59:21 This was such a pleasure, and we'll definitely see you again next time. Thank you. Yeah. Take care. Thank you. [instrumental music] Hey, guys. I hope you enjoyed the episode. 59:31 If you wouldn't mind liking, subscribing, commenting, sharing, rating, reviewing, it would mean the world to me and Stella here if you did that, and it really would help support the show. 59:43 Thank you so much, and stay grateful. Right, Stella? Stay grateful? [kisses] [laughs]
